When I first heard my alarm clock go off, I did not want to get up. Who wants to get up at one AM anyway? Then I remembered why I was getting up so early, and it put me in motion. My mom and I drove to school in the dark, and were the first to get there at one fifty in the morning. It was a while until everybody else including the bus got there. When it finally did arrive we boarded it and started our journey to England. It took a while for everyone to get quiet, and for me to get in a comfortable position to actually get some sleep. I was lying there and I didn’t notice how quiet it had gotten. I had been listening to music, and I was so intrigued by it, I didn’t notice the background noise-silence. There were only a few voices, but I fell asleep despite off them. I was half asleep when I noticed a buzzing noise, which had been going on for a while. Then I lurched forward, putting my hand out for support, for the bus driver had stopped to fix what ever was making the noise. Then the bus became a riot again. My classmates and I, sitting, talking and laughing for a long time, were quieted, and it was once again silent.
The fish look dead in this pond. They look like big orange blobs all huddled together in the water. If you look closely though, you can see that they are moving. They have so much space to move around, and yet they just sit there. Maybe they are sleeping or too tired to move their fins. Maybe they don’t like this pond. The bottom is filled with leaves and muck. Maybe they don’t like the dead plants around them, which only show a few signs or life. Maybe they actually think that the fake kingfisher is going to walk over and eat them. What ever it is, I have no clue.
A lot of the things we saw today were covered with green from age. The gargoyles, and some of the building and gates, all had green, which added to the eeriness and the history. The moss that grew between the stones in a courtyard made a maze of green, which looked like a million rivers. Green is such a happy color. Every time I see something like moss on a tree or stones, I am intrigued by it, and I feel a calming sensation come over me.
As soon as we stepped on the train, and as soon as they knew that we were American, the chanting started. It wasn’t a bad chant, it was quite silly. I can’t remember it exactly, but one line was close to, “We are American!” They sang in the deep British voices. We got off the train and a group of about fifteen men were chanting something very loudly. The police were already there ready for anything. We walked through a swarm of people, the street was filled with supporters. I was amazed of how many people there were going to this particular soccer-“football” game. The stands were filled with people. Everybody was either talking or chanting some game song, which sounded like a huge chorus singing something that you couldn’t quite make out, but one thing for sure was that it was loud. During the game people were yelling out what the players should have done, swearing or actually cheering for their team.
People were moving everywhere. A million different voices, a million people, walking in a million different directions. The languages sounded like an orchestra of all different cultures. As I got closer I heard Italian, French, German, Chinese and different British accents. All of this blended into the techno music at a stand.
When we went to the globe and had an acting workshop, I really came out of my shell. I had never really acted before in my life, except in the sixth grade play. Everyone said I was good, but I didn’t go on to do anymore acting. The reason was because I thought people would think I looked or acted funny. Yesterday, I had a break through, and really listened and tried hard to express the feeling of my character. I tried to pick parts that I was uncomfortable with. One thing that I picked a lot was a high status character, because in real life I am a shy person. I gave it my best try, and on one particular part I heard someone yell to me, that what I had just done was really good. I smiled shyly and said thanks.
The Cabinet War Rooms were quite amazing, dark and small. It had many rooms and all of them had different jobs. In one room you could contact any important person anywhere in the world, but it would probably get confusing with all the buttons and telephones. This great range of communication amazed me since it was only the 40’s. In another room they had siren and Winston Churchill’s speech about the Blitz the day after it happened. They made it seem so realistic, but it was a little hard to understand what he was trying to say. I could hear the siren from a few rooms before, and it scared me. I guess that added to the affect of the cramped dark quarters, and what it was like in the time of WWII.
When I first heard that The Tempest was going to be South African based, I thought that the may go over board with the culture, and it would ruin the whole play. As I thought about the biggest themes to play, forgiveness and being confined, it started to make sense about why the play was taking place in South Africa. It turned out that the play was very well done. They made these outrageously huge puppets that were very beautiful. And the clothes and the scenery was amazing. I honestly can say that I loved the whole thing. The acting was wonderful. One part though that I particularly liked was the very end. Prospero is leaving, and he pours water over Ariel’s body and it’s makes the white paint come off, which I found to be very powerful. Also Caliban at the end stands on a rock, eyes closed looking into the only spotlight that is on him, and he finally knows that he is free. The music throughout the whole play was all live, and suited each scene very well. Especially at the end when you hear a women singing in a different language and plucking of a guitar, which was very eerie and gave me the feeling that everything is all right.
SONNET
I wish this could go on longer
I want to live here
And witness this beauty everyday.
In the grass I will lay
And maybe shed a tear.
I want every memory to be clear.
I want to simply stay.
And have everything replay.
I wish everything would reappear.
As the rows of green fields pass by
mixxed with the sad guitar I listen to,
I silently cry.
The sky, the ocean, my eyes and my tears are blue.
This is my final goodbye!
Without this, what will I do?
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Olivia's Essay
Olivia Denison
Mr. Salsich
English 9
26 February 2009
Brave New Worlds:
How Miranda’s World has Changed and What We Need to Make Our World Change
Olivia Denison
Mr. Salsich
English 9
25 February 2009
Brave New Worlds:
How Miranda’s World has Changed and What We Need to Make Our World Change
Many times, when something bad happens to me, I slowly recognize that my poor actions or decisions have brought about an unfortunate result. In the same way, the characters from “The Tempest” begin to realize what they are doing wrong and make a positive change.
In a difficult situation, you learn to accept the circumstances and begin to realize what went wrong. Both Caliban and Prospero find themselves in shameful situations, but after accepting the consequences of their bad decisions, they mend their ways. When Caliban starts drinking and hailing to the drunken man, Stephano, he realizes how foolish it is to pray to a drunken man. Also, Prospero abandons his fight to get revenge on his brother by giving up magic, and instead, forgives him. Caliban realizes that drinking is not going to solve his problems with Prospero. Caliban comes to terms with how poorly Prospero had treated him in hopes that Prospero will, as well. Caliban learns from his poor decisions and turns himself around by thinking of the possibilities of having a fresh start. Like Caliban, Prospero must resolve his bitter feelings toward his brother and start anew. Prospero finally realizes that there is no use in fighting anymore, after putting his brother and his companions under a spell. (Loose sentence) The resolution comes when Prospero gives up magic and forgives his brother. Only then, do Miranda, Prospero, Ariel and Caliban benefit from Prospero’s forgiveness and surrendering of the magical powers that he loved and used for no good. Now that Caliban and Prospero realize their mistakes, the island will return to a harmonious and tranquil place. (Periodic sentence)
Unlike the new world in “The Tempest”, our world is not realizing what we are doing wrong. In our world today, people don’t accept others for who they are. People judge on skin color, religion, and ethnicity. It is a sad thing to think that people have died and sacrificed so much of their lives in trying to suppress (100 SAT words) these actions and make a positive change, and it has not worked. If people demonstrated acceptance, tolerance and had the patience for others, the world would be a much more tranquil place than it is today. Everywhere you look on the news, in school, in work, someone is deceiving someone else. Very few people are considered loyal. For someone to be loyal, you have to trust them and know that they will stand by you. Someone who is loyal would not try to intentionally hurt another person. However, that is all that people seem to do. Being honest or telling the truth is hard for many people to do, especially if it puts them in an awkward situation. For this reason, people will choose to lie. If people were honest one hundred percent of the time, there would literally be no secrets, torturing, or any kind of deleterious (100 SAT words) problem that comes along with not telling the truth. Everybody who told the truth would have less stress in their lives, instead of worrying if anyone would find out that they didn’t tell the truth. If everybody emulated (100 SAT words) one of these virtues, then the world would be a “brave new world.”
If acceptance, loyalty and truthfulness can mend a fictional story, it certainly can mend a real world with real people. Most importantly, people must accept what they have done, tell the truth and be loyal to one another. Otherwise, the virtues do not work. We must have faith that everybody will follow the three virtues of acceptance, loyalty and truthfulness.
Self Assessment
Writing Issues I’m continuing working on.
I have noticed recently that I’m having trouble with ending and starting by essays. My openings never seem to be intriguing enough and my endings seem kind of boring.
Some strong points I see.
I definitely did a good job checking over my work. The SAT words that I used I think fit well with the sentence I used them in.
Some weak points I see.
My transitions could be smoother from chunk to chunk and transitioning in paragraphs. I think the first paragraph is written kind of messily. It is somewhat hard to follow the sentences because I switch from Caliban to Prospero frequently and it gets confusing.
Grade I would give myself.
A-
Mr. Salsich
English 9
26 February 2009
Brave New Worlds:
How Miranda’s World has Changed and What We Need to Make Our World Change
Olivia Denison
Mr. Salsich
English 9
25 February 2009
Brave New Worlds:
How Miranda’s World has Changed and What We Need to Make Our World Change
Many times, when something bad happens to me, I slowly recognize that my poor actions or decisions have brought about an unfortunate result. In the same way, the characters from “The Tempest” begin to realize what they are doing wrong and make a positive change.
In a difficult situation, you learn to accept the circumstances and begin to realize what went wrong. Both Caliban and Prospero find themselves in shameful situations, but after accepting the consequences of their bad decisions, they mend their ways. When Caliban starts drinking and hailing to the drunken man, Stephano, he realizes how foolish it is to pray to a drunken man. Also, Prospero abandons his fight to get revenge on his brother by giving up magic, and instead, forgives him. Caliban realizes that drinking is not going to solve his problems with Prospero. Caliban comes to terms with how poorly Prospero had treated him in hopes that Prospero will, as well. Caliban learns from his poor decisions and turns himself around by thinking of the possibilities of having a fresh start. Like Caliban, Prospero must resolve his bitter feelings toward his brother and start anew. Prospero finally realizes that there is no use in fighting anymore, after putting his brother and his companions under a spell. (Loose sentence) The resolution comes when Prospero gives up magic and forgives his brother. Only then, do Miranda, Prospero, Ariel and Caliban benefit from Prospero’s forgiveness and surrendering of the magical powers that he loved and used for no good. Now that Caliban and Prospero realize their mistakes, the island will return to a harmonious and tranquil place. (Periodic sentence)
Unlike the new world in “The Tempest”, our world is not realizing what we are doing wrong. In our world today, people don’t accept others for who they are. People judge on skin color, religion, and ethnicity. It is a sad thing to think that people have died and sacrificed so much of their lives in trying to suppress (100 SAT words) these actions and make a positive change, and it has not worked. If people demonstrated acceptance, tolerance and had the patience for others, the world would be a much more tranquil place than it is today. Everywhere you look on the news, in school, in work, someone is deceiving someone else. Very few people are considered loyal. For someone to be loyal, you have to trust them and know that they will stand by you. Someone who is loyal would not try to intentionally hurt another person. However, that is all that people seem to do. Being honest or telling the truth is hard for many people to do, especially if it puts them in an awkward situation. For this reason, people will choose to lie. If people were honest one hundred percent of the time, there would literally be no secrets, torturing, or any kind of deleterious (100 SAT words) problem that comes along with not telling the truth. Everybody who told the truth would have less stress in their lives, instead of worrying if anyone would find out that they didn’t tell the truth. If everybody emulated (100 SAT words) one of these virtues, then the world would be a “brave new world.”
If acceptance, loyalty and truthfulness can mend a fictional story, it certainly can mend a real world with real people. Most importantly, people must accept what they have done, tell the truth and be loyal to one another. Otherwise, the virtues do not work. We must have faith that everybody will follow the three virtues of acceptance, loyalty and truthfulness.
Self Assessment
Writing Issues I’m continuing working on.
I have noticed recently that I’m having trouble with ending and starting by essays. My openings never seem to be intriguing enough and my endings seem kind of boring.
Some strong points I see.
I definitely did a good job checking over my work. The SAT words that I used I think fit well with the sentence I used them in.
Some weak points I see.
My transitions could be smoother from chunk to chunk and transitioning in paragraphs. I think the first paragraph is written kind of messily. It is somewhat hard to follow the sentences because I switch from Caliban to Prospero frequently and it gets confusing.
Grade I would give myself.
A-
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Eleanor's Essay #13
Eleanor Hilton
English 9
Mr. Salsich
February 24th 2009
Brave New Worlds:
An Essay on Peace in the World of "The Tempest" and the Real World
Mankind for thousands of years has struggled with topics such as peace and integrity (SAT word). It is the one goal almost every human being has, yet so far throughout our whole existence we have never met our task. In “The Tempest” by William Shakespeare, Prospero and everyone on the island find peace and kindness, but what will it take to make that happen in the real world?
“O brave new world”, these are the words Miranda says to describe her islands’ new found peace. One reason for this happening, I believe, would be that they all gave up something to create the greater good. Prospero has given up magic. Ferdinand and Miranda have sacrificed everything to keep their love for one another. It also seems as if Caliban has changed his cruel, evil ways. When everyone disposed of their bad habits and such, it created unity, and lead them all to believe that everyone was better, thus creating a greater trust between them all. However, I believe that it wasn’t just the people of the island that helped make everyone happy, but the spirits too, especially Ariel. She was the one who described to Prospero the affects of his magic on everyone. Her words were so strong that he decides to “drown [his] book” and “break [his] staff”. We may never fully understand the power of peace and unity, but must be thankful that at least somewhere, even in books, it is possible.
Unfortunately, our world is not yet as peaceful as the one in “The Tempest”. However, if our world was going to become a ‘brave new world’ I feel we would need to all accept each other. Throughout the years different countries have wanted certain things their way. They would push for the whole world to be the same, but that just cannot happen. We all different and unique in our own way, and we need to learn to accept that. The second thing that I feel our world needs to do is to tolerate each other. It is not possible for everyone to like everyone, but if we all created a compromise (SAT word) between each other and put up with the certain traits someone else has we would be better off in the long run. (loose sentence) The final thing I feel our world should do is learn to trust each other. Right now every country that can afford nuclear weapons has them because they fear that at any moment someone could strike at them. If we all trusted each other there would be no need for everyone to act so surreptitiously (SAT word). These three virtues, I believe, are the keystone to what will hopefully be a brighter future.
The world may not be perfect yet but I feel as if everyday it is improving. If Prospero can change his ways, if Miranda and Ferdinand can quickly fall in love, and if Caliban can change from an angry beast to a kind being, I’m sure that the real world can accomplish peace. (Periodic Sentence)
Graphic Organiser:
Intro:
Mankind's struggle, the tempest's success
First Body:
SD for the greater good
CM's they all sacrificed something to create peace
SD unity
CM's -
SD ARiel and the spirits did the rest
CM's persuaded Prospero to give up magic (quotes)
Second Body:
SD acceptance
CM's some people want everything the same, but we are all different
SD tolerance
CM's stop getting pointlessly mad at others for no reason, comprimise
SD trustworthiness
CM's every country that can afford nuclear weapons has them, afraid of attack
Conclusion:
Peace
English 9
Mr. Salsich
February 24th 2009
Brave New Worlds:
An Essay on Peace in the World of "The Tempest" and the Real World
Mankind for thousands of years has struggled with topics such as peace and integrity (SAT word). It is the one goal almost every human being has, yet so far throughout our whole existence we have never met our task. In “The Tempest” by William Shakespeare, Prospero and everyone on the island find peace and kindness, but what will it take to make that happen in the real world?
“O brave new world”, these are the words Miranda says to describe her islands’ new found peace. One reason for this happening, I believe, would be that they all gave up something to create the greater good. Prospero has given up magic. Ferdinand and Miranda have sacrificed everything to keep their love for one another. It also seems as if Caliban has changed his cruel, evil ways. When everyone disposed of their bad habits and such, it created unity, and lead them all to believe that everyone was better, thus creating a greater trust between them all. However, I believe that it wasn’t just the people of the island that helped make everyone happy, but the spirits too, especially Ariel. She was the one who described to Prospero the affects of his magic on everyone. Her words were so strong that he decides to “drown [his] book” and “break [his] staff”. We may never fully understand the power of peace and unity, but must be thankful that at least somewhere, even in books, it is possible.
Unfortunately, our world is not yet as peaceful as the one in “The Tempest”. However, if our world was going to become a ‘brave new world’ I feel we would need to all accept each other. Throughout the years different countries have wanted certain things their way. They would push for the whole world to be the same, but that just cannot happen. We all different and unique in our own way, and we need to learn to accept that. The second thing that I feel our world needs to do is to tolerate each other. It is not possible for everyone to like everyone, but if we all created a compromise (SAT word) between each other and put up with the certain traits someone else has we would be better off in the long run. (loose sentence) The final thing I feel our world should do is learn to trust each other. Right now every country that can afford nuclear weapons has them because they fear that at any moment someone could strike at them. If we all trusted each other there would be no need for everyone to act so surreptitiously (SAT word). These three virtues, I believe, are the keystone to what will hopefully be a brighter future.
The world may not be perfect yet but I feel as if everyday it is improving. If Prospero can change his ways, if Miranda and Ferdinand can quickly fall in love, and if Caliban can change from an angry beast to a kind being, I’m sure that the real world can accomplish peace. (Periodic Sentence)
Graphic Organiser:
Intro:
Mankind's struggle, the tempest's success
First Body:
SD for the greater good
CM's they all sacrificed something to create peace
SD unity
CM's -
SD ARiel and the spirits did the rest
CM's persuaded Prospero to give up magic (quotes)
Second Body:
SD acceptance
CM's some people want everything the same, but we are all different
SD tolerance
CM's stop getting pointlessly mad at others for no reason, comprimise
SD trustworthiness
CM's every country that can afford nuclear weapons has them, afraid of attack
Conclusion:
Peace
Hannah's Essay
Hannah Staley
English 9
Mr. Salsich
26 February 2009
Brave New Worlds
Prospero’s Island and America
America and Prospero’s island are very different places, yet strangely alike. These places have certain virtues in which make them unique and captivating. While evaluating these places, I found that most of their virtues are along the same lines. These places are really interesting and I think could really learn from each other.
The people on Prospero’s island all came together because of three things; acceptance, maturity and respect. They came together in a way that they accepted each other. They accepted that each of them was different and they weren’t always going to agree. They also accepted each other by being open minded to one another’s ideas and really listening even though it may not have been in their best interest. They also started to get along because of how they all matured. Most of the characters in “The Tempest” slowly started to realize that if they kept being rude to each other things were going to get a lot worse before they got better. They also realized that in order to be friends, you need to meet each other half way and really contribute to the relationship if you want it to succeed. Lastly, respect brought the people on the island to good terms. Respect was key because you need not only be aware of how you are treating the people around you, but also that you are respecting their space and privacy. Respect is definitely important because if there is no respect then there is nothing much to build your relationships on. These three things are really important in any relationship and I really think it helped the characters on the island start to form a bond.
Three virtues I think our world needs to become “a brave new world” is truthfulness, unity and kindness. We need truthfulness because there are enough liars in this world already and if we added more to the mix it would make everything fall apart. Also, truthfulness plays a big role in everyone’s life. Since the day we were born, our surrounding peers have reinforced that lying is bad, so if all of a sudden this world was full if lying people we would have pure chaos. Another virtue this world needs more of is unity. There is so much adversity and disagreeing that us kids are being brought up to think that nothing is amicable. We are being taught that there is only one way to do things and that’s the way we are being brought up to know. Lastly, kindness is a part of what this world needs. There are so many mean people out there who don’t understand that their negative attitude is contagious. Kindness is something that can easily be accomplished, but it’s the people of America who have to rise up to the challenge. Whether it’s truthfulness, unity or kindness, it all binds together in some way and it’s up to the youth of America to make sure these virtues are heard.
Even though we all have our flaws, America needs to pull it together and make this country as safe and loving as possible (loose sentence). We all need to make an effort to enforce truthfulness, kindness and unity. If our country followed Prospero’s island’s footsteps, we will be going in the right direction towards a better America.
English 9
Mr. Salsich
26 February 2009
Brave New Worlds
Prospero’s Island and America
America and Prospero’s island are very different places, yet strangely alike. These places have certain virtues in which make them unique and captivating. While evaluating these places, I found that most of their virtues are along the same lines. These places are really interesting and I think could really learn from each other.
The people on Prospero’s island all came together because of three things; acceptance, maturity and respect. They came together in a way that they accepted each other. They accepted that each of them was different and they weren’t always going to agree. They also accepted each other by being open minded to one another’s ideas and really listening even though it may not have been in their best interest. They also started to get along because of how they all matured. Most of the characters in “The Tempest” slowly started to realize that if they kept being rude to each other things were going to get a lot worse before they got better. They also realized that in order to be friends, you need to meet each other half way and really contribute to the relationship if you want it to succeed. Lastly, respect brought the people on the island to good terms. Respect was key because you need not only be aware of how you are treating the people around you, but also that you are respecting their space and privacy. Respect is definitely important because if there is no respect then there is nothing much to build your relationships on. These three things are really important in any relationship and I really think it helped the characters on the island start to form a bond.
Three virtues I think our world needs to become “a brave new world” is truthfulness, unity and kindness. We need truthfulness because there are enough liars in this world already and if we added more to the mix it would make everything fall apart. Also, truthfulness plays a big role in everyone’s life. Since the day we were born, our surrounding peers have reinforced that lying is bad, so if all of a sudden this world was full if lying people we would have pure chaos. Another virtue this world needs more of is unity. There is so much adversity and disagreeing that us kids are being brought up to think that nothing is amicable. We are being taught that there is only one way to do things and that’s the way we are being brought up to know. Lastly, kindness is a part of what this world needs. There are so many mean people out there who don’t understand that their negative attitude is contagious. Kindness is something that can easily be accomplished, but it’s the people of America who have to rise up to the challenge. Whether it’s truthfulness, unity or kindness, it all binds together in some way and it’s up to the youth of America to make sure these virtues are heard.
Even though we all have our flaws, America needs to pull it together and make this country as safe and loving as possible (loose sentence). We all need to make an effort to enforce truthfulness, kindness and unity. If our country followed Prospero’s island’s footsteps, we will be going in the right direction towards a better America.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Hannah's Polished Essay
Hannah Staley
Mr. Salsich
English 9
February 17, 2009
Music is Universal
An essay on Caliban and myself
OP: Music is a great thing. It’s there for you to offer comfort and support. It is there to help you go into a dreaming state, a state of complete and utter pleasure. When analyzing the character Caliban from “The Tempest” and thinking about myself, we really connect. We both find music as a stress reliever and a really powerful thing.
TS: Music is a type of escape that can “give delight” and make you feel many different emotions. TS2: In the play “The Tempest” by William Shakespeare, music has quite an effect on the ever changing Caliban. SD: Caliban is the type of man who does things without thinking, which gets him into bad situations. CM: Music is his only escape because it’s the only thing he can relate to. CM: When his ears are “full of noises” the only thing he can think about is what he is hearing. CM: He knows that music will never be his enemy, but will work with him to offer comfort. SD: Caliban also enjoys music because it puts him in a different world mentally. CM: When sounds enter his head, it is like he is in “the clouds”, “dreaming.” CM: It’s like a high that keeps reoccurring every time he hears the melody of a song. SD: Finally, this music transforms him from one type of person into another. CM: Sometimes the grouchiest people can come to their senses by listening to a calm and relaxing song. CM: Caliban is one of those people who needs music. CM: He needs music because it helps him get through his day and also acts as a healer. CS: Although Caliban has done some pretty crazy things, it’s always seems to be the music that brings him back to reality.
TS: Wondering what is going to play next on my ipod, I lay on my bed in silence. (Appositive as a sentence opener) SD: Music is one of the only things in my life that can keep me hooked for an extended period of time. CM: When a song comes on I like, I listen closely. (Short sentence) CM: I listen to the words, the beat, and the melody (purposeful repetition). CM: Everything that is pouring out of those speakers is like magic. SD: I know that when I listen to music, I not only listen to the instrumentals, but the lyrics. CM: By listening to the lyrics, you can find out something new about the artist and maybe you can even relate. CM: By relating to the music, I fell that is has had a bigger impact on me. SD: But, my favorite thing about music would probably be the freedom. CM: By listening to music you can feel a sense of happiness, the thrill. (compound complex sentence)CM: You can feel yourself get lost in this comforting, soothing noise. CS: Music is truly a universal thing. CS: Music helps heal hearts, express feelings and show unity.
CP: Whether it is a William Shakespeare character or I, music is a big thing. Music helped us both dream and just enjoying the peace and quiet. Music made us realize that you can be transformed by listening to a simple song. Music helped us realize that we would be empty without it.
Mr. Salsich
English 9
February 17, 2009
Music is Universal
An essay on Caliban and myself
OP: Music is a great thing. It’s there for you to offer comfort and support. It is there to help you go into a dreaming state, a state of complete and utter pleasure. When analyzing the character Caliban from “The Tempest” and thinking about myself, we really connect. We both find music as a stress reliever and a really powerful thing.
TS: Music is a type of escape that can “give delight” and make you feel many different emotions. TS2: In the play “The Tempest” by William Shakespeare, music has quite an effect on the ever changing Caliban. SD: Caliban is the type of man who does things without thinking, which gets him into bad situations. CM: Music is his only escape because it’s the only thing he can relate to. CM: When his ears are “full of noises” the only thing he can think about is what he is hearing. CM: He knows that music will never be his enemy, but will work with him to offer comfort. SD: Caliban also enjoys music because it puts him in a different world mentally. CM: When sounds enter his head, it is like he is in “the clouds”, “dreaming.” CM: It’s like a high that keeps reoccurring every time he hears the melody of a song. SD: Finally, this music transforms him from one type of person into another. CM: Sometimes the grouchiest people can come to their senses by listening to a calm and relaxing song. CM: Caliban is one of those people who needs music. CM: He needs music because it helps him get through his day and also acts as a healer. CS: Although Caliban has done some pretty crazy things, it’s always seems to be the music that brings him back to reality.
TS: Wondering what is going to play next on my ipod, I lay on my bed in silence. (Appositive as a sentence opener) SD: Music is one of the only things in my life that can keep me hooked for an extended period of time. CM: When a song comes on I like, I listen closely. (Short sentence) CM: I listen to the words, the beat, and the melody (purposeful repetition). CM: Everything that is pouring out of those speakers is like magic. SD: I know that when I listen to music, I not only listen to the instrumentals, but the lyrics. CM: By listening to the lyrics, you can find out something new about the artist and maybe you can even relate. CM: By relating to the music, I fell that is has had a bigger impact on me. SD: But, my favorite thing about music would probably be the freedom. CM: By listening to music you can feel a sense of happiness, the thrill. (compound complex sentence)CM: You can feel yourself get lost in this comforting, soothing noise. CS: Music is truly a universal thing. CS: Music helps heal hearts, express feelings and show unity.
CP: Whether it is a William Shakespeare character or I, music is a big thing. Music helped us both dream and just enjoying the peace and quiet. Music made us realize that you can be transformed by listening to a simple song. Music helped us realize that we would be empty without it.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Hannah's Essay
Hannah Staley
Mr. Salsich
English 9
February 17, 2009
Music is Universal
An essay on Caliban and myself
OP: Music is a great thing. It’s there for you to offer comfort and support. It is there to help you go into a dreaming state, a state of complete and utter pleasure. When analyzing the character Caliban from The Tempest and thinking about myself, we really connect. We both find music as a stress reliever and a really powerful thing.
TS: Music is a type of escape that can “give delight” and make you feel many different emotions. TS2: In the play The Tempest by William Shakespeare, music has quite an effect on the ever changing Caliban. SD: Caliban is the type of guy who does things without thinking, which gets him into bad situations. CM: Music is his only escape because it’s the only thing he can relate to. CM: When his ears are “full of noises” the only thing he can think about is what he is hearing. CM: He knows that music will never be his enemy, but will work with him to offer comfort. SD: Caliban also enjoys music because it puts him in a different world mentally. CM: When sounds enter his head, it is like he is in “the clouds”, “dreaming.” CM: It’s like a high that keeps reoccurring every time he hears the melody of a song. SD: Finally, this music transforms him from one type of person into another. CM: Sometimes the grouchiest people can come to their senses by listening to a calm and relaxing song. CM: Caliban is one of those people who needs music. CM: He needs music because it helps him get through his day and also acts as a healer. CS: Although Caliban has done some pretty crazy things, it’s always seems to be the music that brings him back to reality.
TS: Wondering what is going to play next on my ipod, I lay on my bed in silence. (Appositive as a sentence opener) SD: Music is one of the only things in my life that can keep me hooked for an extended period of time. CM: When a song comes on I like, I listen closely. (Short sentence) CM: I listen to the words, the beat, and the melody (purposeful repetition). CM: Everything that is pouring out of those speakers is like magic. SD: I know that when I listen to music, I not only listen to the instrumentals, but the lyrics. CM: By listening to the lyrics, you can find out something new about the artist and maybe you can even relate. CM: By relating to the music, I fell that is has had a bigger impact on me. SD: But, my favorite thing about music would probably be the freedom. CM: By listening to music you can feel a sense of happiness, the thrill. (compound complex sentence)CM: You can feel yourself get lost in this comforting, soothing noise. CS: Music is truly a universal thing. CS: Music helps heal hearts, express feelings and show unity.
CP: Whether it is a William Shakespeare character or I, music is a big thing. Music helped us both dream and just enjoying the peace and quiet. Music made us realize that you can be transformed by listening to a simple song. Music helped us realize that we would be empty without it.
Mr. Salsich
English 9
February 17, 2009
Music is Universal
An essay on Caliban and myself
OP: Music is a great thing. It’s there for you to offer comfort and support. It is there to help you go into a dreaming state, a state of complete and utter pleasure. When analyzing the character Caliban from The Tempest and thinking about myself, we really connect. We both find music as a stress reliever and a really powerful thing.
TS: Music is a type of escape that can “give delight” and make you feel many different emotions. TS2: In the play The Tempest by William Shakespeare, music has quite an effect on the ever changing Caliban. SD: Caliban is the type of guy who does things without thinking, which gets him into bad situations. CM: Music is his only escape because it’s the only thing he can relate to. CM: When his ears are “full of noises” the only thing he can think about is what he is hearing. CM: He knows that music will never be his enemy, but will work with him to offer comfort. SD: Caliban also enjoys music because it puts him in a different world mentally. CM: When sounds enter his head, it is like he is in “the clouds”, “dreaming.” CM: It’s like a high that keeps reoccurring every time he hears the melody of a song. SD: Finally, this music transforms him from one type of person into another. CM: Sometimes the grouchiest people can come to their senses by listening to a calm and relaxing song. CM: Caliban is one of those people who needs music. CM: He needs music because it helps him get through his day and also acts as a healer. CS: Although Caliban has done some pretty crazy things, it’s always seems to be the music that brings him back to reality.
TS: Wondering what is going to play next on my ipod, I lay on my bed in silence. (Appositive as a sentence opener) SD: Music is one of the only things in my life that can keep me hooked for an extended period of time. CM: When a song comes on I like, I listen closely. (Short sentence) CM: I listen to the words, the beat, and the melody (purposeful repetition). CM: Everything that is pouring out of those speakers is like magic. SD: I know that when I listen to music, I not only listen to the instrumentals, but the lyrics. CM: By listening to the lyrics, you can find out something new about the artist and maybe you can even relate. CM: By relating to the music, I fell that is has had a bigger impact on me. SD: But, my favorite thing about music would probably be the freedom. CM: By listening to music you can feel a sense of happiness, the thrill. (compound complex sentence)CM: You can feel yourself get lost in this comforting, soothing noise. CS: Music is truly a universal thing. CS: Music helps heal hearts, express feelings and show unity.
CP: Whether it is a William Shakespeare character or I, music is a big thing. Music helped us both dream and just enjoying the peace and quiet. Music made us realize that you can be transformed by listening to a simple song. Music helped us realize that we would be empty without it.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Hannah's 1st body paragraph
Hannah Staley
Mr. Salsich
English 9
February 17, 2009
TS: Music is a type of escape that can “give delight” and make you feel many different emotions. TS2: In the play The Tempest by William Shakespeare, music has quite an effect on the ever changing Caliban. SD: Caliban is the type of guy who does things without thinking, which gets him into bad situations. CM: Music is his only escape because it’s the only thing he can relate to. CM: When his ears are “full of noises” the only thing he can think about is what he is hearing. CM: He knows that music will never be his enemy, but will work with him to offer comfort. SD: Caliban also enjoys music because it puts him in a different world mentally. CM: When sounds enter his head, it is like he is in “the clouds”, “dreaming.” CM: It’s like a high that keeps reoccurring every time he hears the melody of a song. SD: Finally, this music transforms him from one type of person into another. CM: Sometimes the grouchiest people can come to their senses by listening to a calm and relaxing song. CM: Caliban is one of those people who needs music. CM: He needs music because it helps him get through his day and also acts as a healer. CS: Although Caliban has done some pretty crazy things, it’s always seems to be the music that brings him back to reality.
Mr. Salsich
English 9
February 17, 2009
TS: Music is a type of escape that can “give delight” and make you feel many different emotions. TS2: In the play The Tempest by William Shakespeare, music has quite an effect on the ever changing Caliban. SD: Caliban is the type of guy who does things without thinking, which gets him into bad situations. CM: Music is his only escape because it’s the only thing he can relate to. CM: When his ears are “full of noises” the only thing he can think about is what he is hearing. CM: He knows that music will never be his enemy, but will work with him to offer comfort. SD: Caliban also enjoys music because it puts him in a different world mentally. CM: When sounds enter his head, it is like he is in “the clouds”, “dreaming.” CM: It’s like a high that keeps reoccurring every time he hears the melody of a song. SD: Finally, this music transforms him from one type of person into another. CM: Sometimes the grouchiest people can come to their senses by listening to a calm and relaxing song. CM: Caliban is one of those people who needs music. CM: He needs music because it helps him get through his day and also acts as a healer. CS: Although Caliban has done some pretty crazy things, it’s always seems to be the music that brings him back to reality.
Eleanor's Polished #12 Essay
Eleanor Hilton
English 9
Mr. Salsich
February 23rd 2009
Transformations:
An Essay on How Music can Affect us All
Every morning when the sun rises, our sky is transformed from a dark starry picture, to a bright blue sky full of brilliant white clouds. (Three consecutive parallel prepositional phrases) Like our world, Caliban and I also transform, but when listening to music.
Caliban, a character in “The Tempest” by William Shakespeare, has one of the strangest and most unusual personalities. For the first sixty-four pages of the play so far our class had learnt that Caliban was always in a bad mood. He would stomp around shouting and making faces at everything. He would curse Prospero, Miranda, and Ariel to no end, and even tried to rape Miranda for revenge. However on page sixty-five we recently discovered that Caliban can change. When talking about the music that “hum[s] about [his] ears”, his face is full of “delight” and joy. He transforms. (Short sentence among long ones) He loves the music so much, that he would see “clouds” and “riches”, and when his dream ended he would cry for them to come back. (Compound-complex sentence) This altogether adds an interesting twist to the story. The one character that we thought flat has become as round as the others. If Caliban transforms with music, what transforms the other characters in “The Tempest”?
For me, I am transformed when listening to music. When I am angry, a song with a good relaxing beat calms me down. When I am sad, listening to a sad song can help me get over the pain. Even when I am happy, playing something I like can make me feel even better. Life for me right now can sometimes get frustrating, and it often feels as if the world has turned upside down. The music not only helps me transform away from a person that isn’t me, but also helps control the clutter stacked around the room that is my life. In William Wordsworth’s well-known “Tintern Abbey” he says, “I have felt a presence that disturbs me with joy”. Although in the poem he probably means that the “presence” is Mother Nature, the same quote also applies to me, but with music. The “presence”, that lies discreetly around me, that “disturbs me with joy”, is the music that I hear when I need comforting or when I am just in the mood to listen. (Appositive) Without music I would be in a wreck of problems and ready to crack. Thankfully there is music, and when times get tough, I know I can sit down and listen to a favourite song.
Even though there are probably many reasons for a transformation, I feel that one of the most prominent would be the transformation with music. Caliban, and I are just two that feel the benefits of music, but I know there are thousands.
Graphic Organiser:
Intro:transformations
1st Body:
SD: Caliban as his bad-tempered self
CM's: we believed that he was always going to be mean
SD: He changes with music
CM's:(small quotes) his transformation from mean to nice
SD's: no longer a flat character
CM's: How will this affect the rest of the play?
2nd Body:
SD: What music helps with
CM's: anger, sadness, even when happy it transforms to an even happier person
SD: Complicated life
CM's: can fix the clutter
SD: Tintern Abbey connection
CM's: the "presence" is music to me, "disturbs" me into a better self
Conclusion: the many transitions
English 9
Mr. Salsich
February 23rd 2009
Transformations:
An Essay on How Music can Affect us All
Every morning when the sun rises, our sky is transformed from a dark starry picture, to a bright blue sky full of brilliant white clouds. (Three consecutive parallel prepositional phrases) Like our world, Caliban and I also transform, but when listening to music.
Caliban, a character in “The Tempest” by William Shakespeare, has one of the strangest and most unusual personalities. For the first sixty-four pages of the play so far our class had learnt that Caliban was always in a bad mood. He would stomp around shouting and making faces at everything. He would curse Prospero, Miranda, and Ariel to no end, and even tried to rape Miranda for revenge. However on page sixty-five we recently discovered that Caliban can change. When talking about the music that “hum[s] about [his] ears”, his face is full of “delight” and joy. He transforms. (Short sentence among long ones) He loves the music so much, that he would see “clouds” and “riches”, and when his dream ended he would cry for them to come back. (Compound-complex sentence) This altogether adds an interesting twist to the story. The one character that we thought flat has become as round as the others. If Caliban transforms with music, what transforms the other characters in “The Tempest”?
For me, I am transformed when listening to music. When I am angry, a song with a good relaxing beat calms me down. When I am sad, listening to a sad song can help me get over the pain. Even when I am happy, playing something I like can make me feel even better. Life for me right now can sometimes get frustrating, and it often feels as if the world has turned upside down. The music not only helps me transform away from a person that isn’t me, but also helps control the clutter stacked around the room that is my life. In William Wordsworth’s well-known “Tintern Abbey” he says, “I have felt a presence that disturbs me with joy”. Although in the poem he probably means that the “presence” is Mother Nature, the same quote also applies to me, but with music. The “presence”, that lies discreetly around me, that “disturbs me with joy”, is the music that I hear when I need comforting or when I am just in the mood to listen. (Appositive) Without music I would be in a wreck of problems and ready to crack. Thankfully there is music, and when times get tough, I know I can sit down and listen to a favourite song.
Even though there are probably many reasons for a transformation, I feel that one of the most prominent would be the transformation with music. Caliban, and I are just two that feel the benefits of music, but I know there are thousands.
Graphic Organiser:
Intro:transformations
1st Body:
SD: Caliban as his bad-tempered self
CM's: we believed that he was always going to be mean
SD: He changes with music
CM's:(small quotes) his transformation from mean to nice
SD's: no longer a flat character
CM's: How will this affect the rest of the play?
2nd Body:
SD: What music helps with
CM's: anger, sadness, even when happy it transforms to an even happier person
SD: Complicated life
CM's: can fix the clutter
SD: Tintern Abbey connection
CM's: the "presence" is music to me, "disturbs" me into a better self
Conclusion: the many transitions
Olivia's Essay
Olivia Denison
Mr. Salsich
English 9
19 February 2009
Music For the Soul:
How Music Makes Me and Caliban Feel
Music is an international entity. It’s everywhere, on the city streets, in the wind. It can even be stored in a one and a half inch by three and a half inch gadget, and with just a touch of a button, your ears fill with sound. I truly believe that music inspires people and can transform them whenever they hear it, feeling emotions through the melody and lyrics.
TS Caliban is not one of the most pleasant people to be around, but even a bad person can be transformed by music. SD Caliban, a mean ugly monster, (appositive noun) is changed into a relaxed gentle soul while listening to music. CM Music gives Caliban a topic to speak about with others and something to resort to when everything is wrong. CM Music is one of the few things that brings joy to Caliban, and that is why he loves it so much. SD Caliban hears his joyful music all the time, even in his sleep. CM The music that he hears “ give(s) delight and hurt(s) not.” CM He will sometimes hear “ a thousand twangling instruments” or “voices” that will wake him from his sleep, but then only to put him back to sleep again. SD The music that he hears makes him see things in his sleep that make him happy. CM He dreams that “the clouds…would open and show riches ready to drop upon [him]”. CM He dreams of the money that will make him so rich that he can either take over the island or sail away from his miseries. CS Of course, it is only a dream, but one that makes him jovial.
TS There are three items I always take with me: mints, chap-stick, and my Ipod. SD Music goes wherever I go. CM For me, music is like a religion; I’m always discussing or listening to some new song and you will likely see me with my headphones on. (short sentence within two long ones) CM Further strengthening my bond to music, my dad always has the radio on in his car and he is always introducing me to new songs and artists. (compound-complex sentence) SD Some would suggest that I know a great deal about music, but there is so much more to learn. CM Just like Caliban, music offers me a topic for discussion to talk about with other people. CM I could talk about various subjects, from the instruments to the lyrics or whether a song is good or bad. (sentence with three prepositional phrases) SD I couldn’t thrive without music, and once I hear a song, I want more and more, just like a drug addiction. CM In the book “Just Listen”, music-obsessed, Owen, has over 9,000 songs on his Ipod, which has become an unattainable goal for me. CM If music was an object, I would hide it away for safekeeping, because music is what makes us, us. CS If music didn’t exist; my life would be meaningless, because music plays a central role in my life.
Caliban, like me, relies on music as a place of refuge, especially in times of need. I feel that music helps both of us get in touch with ourselves, without any limitations on personal expression. Music is a focal point in both of our lives, and without it, our lives would be hollow.
Mr. Salsich
English 9
19 February 2009
Music For the Soul:
How Music Makes Me and Caliban Feel
Music is an international entity. It’s everywhere, on the city streets, in the wind. It can even be stored in a one and a half inch by three and a half inch gadget, and with just a touch of a button, your ears fill with sound. I truly believe that music inspires people and can transform them whenever they hear it, feeling emotions through the melody and lyrics.
TS Caliban is not one of the most pleasant people to be around, but even a bad person can be transformed by music. SD Caliban, a mean ugly monster, (appositive noun) is changed into a relaxed gentle soul while listening to music. CM Music gives Caliban a topic to speak about with others and something to resort to when everything is wrong. CM Music is one of the few things that brings joy to Caliban, and that is why he loves it so much. SD Caliban hears his joyful music all the time, even in his sleep. CM The music that he hears “ give(s) delight and hurt(s) not.” CM He will sometimes hear “ a thousand twangling instruments” or “voices” that will wake him from his sleep, but then only to put him back to sleep again. SD The music that he hears makes him see things in his sleep that make him happy. CM He dreams that “the clouds…would open and show riches ready to drop upon [him]”. CM He dreams of the money that will make him so rich that he can either take over the island or sail away from his miseries. CS Of course, it is only a dream, but one that makes him jovial.
TS There are three items I always take with me: mints, chap-stick, and my Ipod. SD Music goes wherever I go. CM For me, music is like a religion; I’m always discussing or listening to some new song and you will likely see me with my headphones on. (short sentence within two long ones) CM Further strengthening my bond to music, my dad always has the radio on in his car and he is always introducing me to new songs and artists. (compound-complex sentence) SD Some would suggest that I know a great deal about music, but there is so much more to learn. CM Just like Caliban, music offers me a topic for discussion to talk about with other people. CM I could talk about various subjects, from the instruments to the lyrics or whether a song is good or bad. (sentence with three prepositional phrases) SD I couldn’t thrive without music, and once I hear a song, I want more and more, just like a drug addiction. CM In the book “Just Listen”, music-obsessed, Owen, has over 9,000 songs on his Ipod, which has become an unattainable goal for me. CM If music was an object, I would hide it away for safekeeping, because music is what makes us, us. CS If music didn’t exist; my life would be meaningless, because music plays a central role in my life.
Caliban, like me, relies on music as a place of refuge, especially in times of need. I feel that music helps both of us get in touch with ourselves, without any limitations on personal expression. Music is a focal point in both of our lives, and without it, our lives would be hollow.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Hannah's Essay
Hannah Staley
Mr. Salsich
English 9
February 3, 2009
Freedom and Foundation
An Essay on Imprisonment and Freedom
Being away from anything I know and love is close to unthinkable for me. My home, my freedom and my family are all things that make me who I am. If I were only allowed to see my house once a day, I would be really unhappy. The same also goes for my freedom. If I couldn’t express myself on the athletic field, conduct experiments in science class and lead the Friday GIVE meetings, school would not be nearly as fulfilling or interesting.
If I were imprisoned and could only see one thing through my window it would be my home. My home is my central point and ultimately my safety net. Home is where I can be myself and feel completely safe. I know that if I was to be homesick or in a rough situation, home is just a phone call away. Also, my home is not only a structure but a place that nurtures values. Within the walls of my home I have been taught to be clean, to respect people’s space and to love the people you are with. I have learned that when you obey the rules, not only is a family growing stronger but the walls within the house grow thick. Without my home, I don’t know where I would be. I treasure my home and its contents more than anything in the world and a day without it is unbearable to think about.
I would like to be as free as the ocean. I would like to be able to be carefree and easygoing. I would like to go with the flow and take things as they come. It would be nice to wake up one morning and let go of all life’s worries and concerns. To be able to enjoy the day and seize every moment I have with my colleagues, teammates and friends. I would also love to be as flexible as the ocean. Not being tied to a schedule five days a week and just being able to flow with different currents and land where the waves take me would be a wonderful experience. It would ensure that each day is different and unique. Being like the ocean would allow me to accomplish big and small things. Whether it’s as small as helping out a friend or as large as finding a cure for an awful disease, the opportunities are would be as varied as the ocean. But, when you look at it in the big picture, the ocean never ends. It comes and it goes just like you thoughts and emotions. Sometimes, you need to become “free” of these emotions and I feel like the ocean might best help me complete that task.
Building the foundation of a family through a home or referring to freedom through the ocean all ties in. Being at home gives you a sense of freedom and to some the ocean can feel like home. Everyone, at some point in their lives, will need to take advantage of what a day can offer while enjoying the freedom that is there if you just look for it.
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Self Assesment
Hannah Staley
Freedom and Foundation Essay
February 5,2009
Some strong points I see in this essay: I really like the tricolon I used in this essay. I used this literary element well and I was quite proud.
Some weak points I see in this essay: A weak point I see in this essay is my closing paragraph. I believe that it is doing its job but could have been more direct.
Writing issues I am continuing to work on: I am continuing to work on deleting useless words. I feel that I am getting better but I do find my self occasionally slipping.
Grade I would give myself: B+
Mr. Salsich
English 9
February 3, 2009
Freedom and Foundation
An Essay on Imprisonment and Freedom
Being away from anything I know and love is close to unthinkable for me. My home, my freedom and my family are all things that make me who I am. If I were only allowed to see my house once a day, I would be really unhappy. The same also goes for my freedom. If I couldn’t express myself on the athletic field, conduct experiments in science class and lead the Friday GIVE meetings, school would not be nearly as fulfilling or interesting.
If I were imprisoned and could only see one thing through my window it would be my home. My home is my central point and ultimately my safety net. Home is where I can be myself and feel completely safe. I know that if I was to be homesick or in a rough situation, home is just a phone call away. Also, my home is not only a structure but a place that nurtures values. Within the walls of my home I have been taught to be clean, to respect people’s space and to love the people you are with. I have learned that when you obey the rules, not only is a family growing stronger but the walls within the house grow thick. Without my home, I don’t know where I would be. I treasure my home and its contents more than anything in the world and a day without it is unbearable to think about.
I would like to be as free as the ocean. I would like to be able to be carefree and easygoing. I would like to go with the flow and take things as they come. It would be nice to wake up one morning and let go of all life’s worries and concerns. To be able to enjoy the day and seize every moment I have with my colleagues, teammates and friends. I would also love to be as flexible as the ocean. Not being tied to a schedule five days a week and just being able to flow with different currents and land where the waves take me would be a wonderful experience. It would ensure that each day is different and unique. Being like the ocean would allow me to accomplish big and small things. Whether it’s as small as helping out a friend or as large as finding a cure for an awful disease, the opportunities are would be as varied as the ocean. But, when you look at it in the big picture, the ocean never ends. It comes and it goes just like you thoughts and emotions. Sometimes, you need to become “free” of these emotions and I feel like the ocean might best help me complete that task.
Building the foundation of a family through a home or referring to freedom through the ocean all ties in. Being at home gives you a sense of freedom and to some the ocean can feel like home. Everyone, at some point in their lives, will need to take advantage of what a day can offer while enjoying the freedom that is there if you just look for it.
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Self Assesment
Hannah Staley
Freedom and Foundation Essay
February 5,2009
Some strong points I see in this essay: I really like the tricolon I used in this essay. I used this literary element well and I was quite proud.
Some weak points I see in this essay: A weak point I see in this essay is my closing paragraph. I believe that it is doing its job but could have been more direct.
Writing issues I am continuing to work on: I am continuing to work on deleting useless words. I feel that I am getting better but I do find my self occasionally slipping.
Grade I would give myself: B+
Olivia's Essay
Olivia Denison
Mr. Salsich
English 9
5 February 2009
Freedom and Imprisonment:
What Would You Like to Look At Through Your Prison Window and What Is Freedom?
If you had the choice, what would be the one thing you would want to see in jail? What couldn’t you live without for one day? What is the most important thing in your life that you cherish so much that you wouldn’t want it to leave your side? Ferdinand from “The Tempest” would like to see the girl that he has fallen in love with, Miranda, each day because she is so beautiful and he couldn’t live without seeing her face.
Most people who are imprisoned would say they would like to see their relatives, pets, or maybe someone to confide in. What I would like to see though, is the ocean. I simply love the ocean; I love the sounds it makes when crashing against the rocks; I love how the color can change from a dark blue to a lighter blue to green, and I love how the ocean is full of possibilities, storms, the animals that live their and the things that happen in and on the ocean (Tricolon). I just ponder (FAST) all the possibilities the ocean can have: waves tiny or big, rough or bumpy, that can be fun to watch, but can also possess a destructive force. Observing the bountiful (FAST) life in the ocean and the people playing in the waves, reminds me of how life used to be. Sailing upon the waves with salt spray in my face makes me feel alive, and I would want to feel that again. If I became discouraged about something while in prison, I would listen to the waves crashing and the water seeping through the cracks in the rocks and it would calm me and put me to sleep. The ocean can change color and intensity, just as people can change their expressions, moods or opinions. The ocean inspires me to fight through the rough times and turbulent seas to eventually realize my dream of freedom.
The ocean never dies and covers nearly three-quarters of the earth. The ocean commands its own destiny and for this reason, I would like to be as free as the ocean. To have the power of movement, to have a mind of your own, to have no one tell you what to do and to have the power to create, would be invigorating (Tricolon/FAST). I would be free to crash, move and create currents wherever and whenever, and bring pleasure to people. No one could control me or attach strings to me or capture me in a cage, because as water I would have no boundaries and could assume the shape of my surroundings. I could swallow a boat or give the people the ride of their lives. I could make a rogue(FAST) wave and destroy something and only land could block me. Freedom is having no one to dictate to you or control you, but rather possessing your own opinion with the power to accomplish anything.
If I was imprisoned, my thoughts of the ocean would provide inspiration that maybe someday I would be as free as the ocean. If I was as free as the ocean, though, I wouldn’t abuse my power and destroy things or scare or hurt people. I would be a warm fun relaxing place, so that maybe somewhere someone who is imprisoned would be looking out through a window, admiring my freedom.
Mr. Salsich
English 9
5 February 2009
Freedom and Imprisonment:
What Would You Like to Look At Through Your Prison Window and What Is Freedom?
If you had the choice, what would be the one thing you would want to see in jail? What couldn’t you live without for one day? What is the most important thing in your life that you cherish so much that you wouldn’t want it to leave your side? Ferdinand from “The Tempest” would like to see the girl that he has fallen in love with, Miranda, each day because she is so beautiful and he couldn’t live without seeing her face.
Most people who are imprisoned would say they would like to see their relatives, pets, or maybe someone to confide in. What I would like to see though, is the ocean. I simply love the ocean; I love the sounds it makes when crashing against the rocks; I love how the color can change from a dark blue to a lighter blue to green, and I love how the ocean is full of possibilities, storms, the animals that live their and the things that happen in and on the ocean (Tricolon). I just ponder (FAST) all the possibilities the ocean can have: waves tiny or big, rough or bumpy, that can be fun to watch, but can also possess a destructive force. Observing the bountiful (FAST) life in the ocean and the people playing in the waves, reminds me of how life used to be. Sailing upon the waves with salt spray in my face makes me feel alive, and I would want to feel that again. If I became discouraged about something while in prison, I would listen to the waves crashing and the water seeping through the cracks in the rocks and it would calm me and put me to sleep. The ocean can change color and intensity, just as people can change their expressions, moods or opinions. The ocean inspires me to fight through the rough times and turbulent seas to eventually realize my dream of freedom.
The ocean never dies and covers nearly three-quarters of the earth. The ocean commands its own destiny and for this reason, I would like to be as free as the ocean. To have the power of movement, to have a mind of your own, to have no one tell you what to do and to have the power to create, would be invigorating (Tricolon/FAST). I would be free to crash, move and create currents wherever and whenever, and bring pleasure to people. No one could control me or attach strings to me or capture me in a cage, because as water I would have no boundaries and could assume the shape of my surroundings. I could swallow a boat or give the people the ride of their lives. I could make a rogue(FAST) wave and destroy something and only land could block me. Freedom is having no one to dictate to you or control you, but rather possessing your own opinion with the power to accomplish anything.
If I was imprisoned, my thoughts of the ocean would provide inspiration that maybe someday I would be as free as the ocean. If I was as free as the ocean, though, I wouldn’t abuse my power and destroy things or scare or hurt people. I would be a warm fun relaxing place, so that maybe somewhere someone who is imprisoned would be looking out through a window, admiring my freedom.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Eleanor's Polished Essay #11
Themes are found anywhere and everywhere, whether from a book, play or in real life. Throughout The Tempest so far, there have also been many themes. The most prominent of which is imprisonment and freedom. Many of the characters have dealt with at least one of the two, and I have, and continue, to experience freedom, but what would I want in imprisonment? And how do I really want to feel, or do feel about freedom?
The Question is: “If you were imprisoned, and had only two things or people you could see outside your cell window, what would you like there to be?”. My answer to this is simply be nothing. If I were stuck in a cell, and outside saw a lush wide open field, I would instantly crave being there. This is the same as someone who is craving food but forgot a lunch and every-one else around you was eating. Many prisoners of the now shut-down prison of Alcatraz said that it wasn’t the fact that they were in a prison that tormented them, but the fact that they could see civilization. They could see freedom from outside their windows. They could imagine it all, but they would never again be a part of the life they used to know. (Tricolon) I am thankful to not be imprisoned, and am able to experience all of the joys and experiences that come from life. Sometimes I wonder why so many people of our world simply throw it away.
The other part of the theme also interests me, freedom. We are asked to write an ending to “I would like to be as free as…”. My answer to this question is, I would like to be as free as I am. In my thirteen years of life I feel that I have never been confined to one space, I have never been told just to sit and wait, and I have never been limited mentally. (Tricolon) However I have always thought and created to my hearts content, and have always had partial or complete input in what I can or would do next. Unfortunately many people could not say the same as I just have. Slaves are forced to do what their master tells them, and nothing else. Handicapped people have limitations even in everyday life. I am thankful to have all of my abilities and thankful to be able to simply be me, without anything or anyone speaking against that.
I had know idea two simple themes from a play written over three-hundred and fifty years ago could have such meaning to life today in 2009. If we were all characters in a play of any genre, I am sure that one of themes would be imprisonment and freedom.
*************************************************
Graphic Organiser:
Intro:
The Tempest has many themes, freedom and imprisonment. The two questions
1st Body:
SD: I wouldn't want to see anything at all
CM's: examples, lush field, food
SD: Alcatraz prisoners
CM's: not being able to live in civilization, but see it everyday tormented many of them
2nd Body:
SD: free as I am
CM's: I have always done things without imprisonment
SD: Others are not so lucky
CM's: Handicapped people, Slaves
Conclusion:
No idea that two themes could affect us so much
The Question is: “If you were imprisoned, and had only two things or people you could see outside your cell window, what would you like there to be?”. My answer to this is simply be nothing. If I were stuck in a cell, and outside saw a lush wide open field, I would instantly crave being there. This is the same as someone who is craving food but forgot a lunch and every-one else around you was eating. Many prisoners of the now shut-down prison of Alcatraz said that it wasn’t the fact that they were in a prison that tormented them, but the fact that they could see civilization. They could see freedom from outside their windows. They could imagine it all, but they would never again be a part of the life they used to know. (Tricolon) I am thankful to not be imprisoned, and am able to experience all of the joys and experiences that come from life. Sometimes I wonder why so many people of our world simply throw it away.
The other part of the theme also interests me, freedom. We are asked to write an ending to “I would like to be as free as…”. My answer to this question is, I would like to be as free as I am. In my thirteen years of life I feel that I have never been confined to one space, I have never been told just to sit and wait, and I have never been limited mentally. (Tricolon) However I have always thought and created to my hearts content, and have always had partial or complete input in what I can or would do next. Unfortunately many people could not say the same as I just have. Slaves are forced to do what their master tells them, and nothing else. Handicapped people have limitations even in everyday life. I am thankful to have all of my abilities and thankful to be able to simply be me, without anything or anyone speaking against that.
I had know idea two simple themes from a play written over three-hundred and fifty years ago could have such meaning to life today in 2009. If we were all characters in a play of any genre, I am sure that one of themes would be imprisonment and freedom.
*************************************************
Graphic Organiser:
Intro:
The Tempest has many themes, freedom and imprisonment. The two questions
1st Body:
SD: I wouldn't want to see anything at all
CM's: examples, lush field, food
SD: Alcatraz prisoners
CM's: not being able to live in civilization, but see it everyday tormented many of them
2nd Body:
SD: free as I am
CM's: I have always done things without imprisonment
SD: Others are not so lucky
CM's: Handicapped people, Slaves
Conclusion:
No idea that two themes could affect us so much
1st Body Paragraph
If I were imprisoned and could only see one thing through my window it would be my home. My home is my central point and ultimately my safety net. Home is where I can be myself and feel completely safe. I know that if I was to be homesick or in a rough situation, home is just a phone call away. Also, my home is not only a structure but a place that nurtures values. Within the walls of my home I have been taught to be clean, to respect people’s space and to love the people you are with. I have learned that when you obey the rules, not only is a family growing stronger but the walls within the house grow thick. Without my home, I don’t know where I would be. I treasure this home and its contents more than anything in the world and a day without it is unbearable to think about.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Hannah's Polished Essay
Hannah Staley
English 9
Mr. Hamilton Salsich
29 January 2009
Servitude vs. Confinment
An essay on the similarities and differences of servitude and confinement shown in characters Caliban and Ariel
Reflecting on “servitude and confinement”, pages 18 through 23 in The Tempest by William Shakespeare seems to be more about slavery and imprisonment than servitude and confinement. Describing Ariel and Caliban as servants does not seem harsh enough. The both are really slaves who are controlled by Sycorax and Prospero. Servitude seems to be a way to describe their predicament (FAST).
Being trapped in a “cloven pine” by Sycorax and threatened with 12 more years of confinement in an Oak tree by Prospero tells us that Ariel is destined to a life of confinement and servitude. Arial is a shy and timid character who does not have the courage to fight back against her masters. This may be because she is hoping to be granted a year off. While ending up being in the possession of Sycorax, Ariel learned some lessons. She learned that punishment, like being limited to living in a “space” in a tree, is one way she can be controlled. She also makes the mistake of telling Prospero that she has “a spirit too delicate” for the work she was made to execute (FAST). It would have been smarter for her to be more cunning (FAST) by manipulating Sycorax and Prospero. Perhaps she will figure this out in future Acts. It would be in her best interest if she did.
Caliban is a much different character who is similar to Ariel because they are both slaves, but different in how he communicates. He is visibly angry and will do anything to try to get back all that his family has lost to Prospero and Miranda. He even goes so far as to try and sexually assault Miranda in an effort to build his own little army of Calibans. His anger is also visible when he tells Prospero “You taught me language; and my profit on’t is, I know how to curse. The red plague rid you for learning me your language.” I don’t think Ariel would have come out with such a bold statement. This is why I think Ariel may be a woman. I doubt that women would speak out as Caliban did in that day and age.
Identifying similarities between Ariel and Caliban is interesting, but more difficult than identifying their differences. They deal with situations and people in different ways but their plights (FAST) are the same. It will be interesting to see if they end up the same way or if either one of them ever escapes servitude and confinement.
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Self Assesment:
Hannah Staley
February 1st, 2009
Servitude vs. Confinement
Some Strong Points I see in this essay: A strong point I see in this essay is my opening paragraph. I feel that I did a good job of summarizing what is to come and it flows nicely.
Some Weak Points I see in this essay: A weak point I see is my use of quotes. I am still working on finding the right one to make the sentence work. I feel that I am slowly making progress, but I could still use some help.
Writing Issues I am continuing to work on: writing issues I am continuing to work on is omitting unnecessary words. I think I have made a good job with this but there is always room for improvement.
Grade I would give myself: B+
English 9
Mr. Hamilton Salsich
29 January 2009
Servitude vs. Confinment
An essay on the similarities and differences of servitude and confinement shown in characters Caliban and Ariel
Reflecting on “servitude and confinement”, pages 18 through 23 in The Tempest by William Shakespeare seems to be more about slavery and imprisonment than servitude and confinement. Describing Ariel and Caliban as servants does not seem harsh enough. The both are really slaves who are controlled by Sycorax and Prospero. Servitude seems to be a way to describe their predicament (FAST).
Being trapped in a “cloven pine” by Sycorax and threatened with 12 more years of confinement in an Oak tree by Prospero tells us that Ariel is destined to a life of confinement and servitude. Arial is a shy and timid character who does not have the courage to fight back against her masters. This may be because she is hoping to be granted a year off. While ending up being in the possession of Sycorax, Ariel learned some lessons. She learned that punishment, like being limited to living in a “space” in a tree, is one way she can be controlled. She also makes the mistake of telling Prospero that she has “a spirit too delicate” for the work she was made to execute (FAST). It would have been smarter for her to be more cunning (FAST) by manipulating Sycorax and Prospero. Perhaps she will figure this out in future Acts. It would be in her best interest if she did.
Caliban is a much different character who is similar to Ariel because they are both slaves, but different in how he communicates. He is visibly angry and will do anything to try to get back all that his family has lost to Prospero and Miranda. He even goes so far as to try and sexually assault Miranda in an effort to build his own little army of Calibans. His anger is also visible when he tells Prospero “You taught me language; and my profit on’t is, I know how to curse. The red plague rid you for learning me your language.” I don’t think Ariel would have come out with such a bold statement. This is why I think Ariel may be a woman. I doubt that women would speak out as Caliban did in that day and age.
Identifying similarities between Ariel and Caliban is interesting, but more difficult than identifying their differences. They deal with situations and people in different ways but their plights (FAST) are the same. It will be interesting to see if they end up the same way or if either one of them ever escapes servitude and confinement.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Self Assesment:
Hannah Staley
February 1st, 2009
Servitude vs. Confinement
Some Strong Points I see in this essay: A strong point I see in this essay is my opening paragraph. I feel that I did a good job of summarizing what is to come and it flows nicely.
Some Weak Points I see in this essay: A weak point I see is my use of quotes. I am still working on finding the right one to make the sentence work. I feel that I am slowly making progress, but I could still use some help.
Writing Issues I am continuing to work on: writing issues I am continuing to work on is omitting unnecessary words. I think I have made a good job with this but there is always room for improvement.
Grade I would give myself: B+
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Hannah's Essay
Hannah Staley
English 9
Mr. Hamilton Salsich
29 January 2009
Servitude vs. Confinment
An essay on the similarities and differences of servitude and confinement shown in characters Caliban and Ariel
Reflecting on “servitude and confinement”, pages 18 through 23 seem to be more about slavery and imprisonment. Describing Ariel and Caliban as servants does not seem harsh enough. The both are really slaves who are controlled by Sycorax and Prospero. Servitude seems like to kind a way to describe their predicament (FAST).
Being trapped in a “cloven pine” by Sycorax and threatened with 12 more years of confinement in an Oak tree by Prospero, tells us that Ariel is destined to a life of confinement and servitude. Arial is a shy and timid character who does not have the courage to fight back against her masters. This may be because she is hoping to be granted a year off. While ending up being in the possession of Sycorax, Ariel learned some lessons. She learned that punishment, like being limited to living in a “space” in a tree, is one way she can be controlled. She also makes the mistake of telling Prospero that she has “a spirit too delicate” for the work she was made to execute (FAST). It would have been smarter for her to be more cunning (FAST) by manipulating Sycorax and Prospero. Perhaps she will figure this out in future Acts. It would be in her best interest if she did.
Caliban is a much different character who similar to Ariel because they are both slaves, but different in how he communicates. He is visibly angry and will do anything to try to get back all that his family has lost to Prospero and Miranda. He even goes so far as to try and sexually assault Miranda in an effort to build his own little army of Calibans. His anger is also visible when he tells Prospero “You taught me language; and my profit on’t is, I know how to curse. The red plague rid you for learning me your language.” I don’t think Ariel would have come out with such a bold statement. This is why I think Ariel may be a woman. I doubt that women would speak out as Caliban did in that day and age.
Identifying similarities between Ariel and Caliban is interesting, but more difficult than identifying their differences. They deal with situations and people in different ways but their plights (FAST) are the same. It will be interesting to see if they end up the same way or if either one of them ever escapes servitude and confinement.
English 9
Mr. Hamilton Salsich
29 January 2009
Servitude vs. Confinment
An essay on the similarities and differences of servitude and confinement shown in characters Caliban and Ariel
Reflecting on “servitude and confinement”, pages 18 through 23 seem to be more about slavery and imprisonment. Describing Ariel and Caliban as servants does not seem harsh enough. The both are really slaves who are controlled by Sycorax and Prospero. Servitude seems like to kind a way to describe their predicament (FAST).
Being trapped in a “cloven pine” by Sycorax and threatened with 12 more years of confinement in an Oak tree by Prospero, tells us that Ariel is destined to a life of confinement and servitude. Arial is a shy and timid character who does not have the courage to fight back against her masters. This may be because she is hoping to be granted a year off. While ending up being in the possession of Sycorax, Ariel learned some lessons. She learned that punishment, like being limited to living in a “space” in a tree, is one way she can be controlled. She also makes the mistake of telling Prospero that she has “a spirit too delicate” for the work she was made to execute (FAST). It would have been smarter for her to be more cunning (FAST) by manipulating Sycorax and Prospero. Perhaps she will figure this out in future Acts. It would be in her best interest if she did.
Caliban is a much different character who similar to Ariel because they are both slaves, but different in how he communicates. He is visibly angry and will do anything to try to get back all that his family has lost to Prospero and Miranda. He even goes so far as to try and sexually assault Miranda in an effort to build his own little army of Calibans. His anger is also visible when he tells Prospero “You taught me language; and my profit on’t is, I know how to curse. The red plague rid you for learning me your language.” I don’t think Ariel would have come out with such a bold statement. This is why I think Ariel may be a woman. I doubt that women would speak out as Caliban did in that day and age.
Identifying similarities between Ariel and Caliban is interesting, but more difficult than identifying their differences. They deal with situations and people in different ways but their plights (FAST) are the same. It will be interesting to see if they end up the same way or if either one of them ever escapes servitude and confinement.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Eleanor's Polished Essay #10
Eleanor Hilton
Mr. Salsich
English 9
January 28th, 2009
Consequences
My Thoughts on the Similarities and Differences of Two Characters in ‘The Tempest’ by William Shakespeare
There are two characters in the well known play The Tempest by William Shakespeare that seem to have many reoccurring similarities and differences. (Participle phrase, sentence closer) Many of these have to do with the subject of confinement and servitude.
Ariel, one of the characters experiences a lot of confinement and servitude in the play so far, and I am curious how it will continue. The first of these was created by Sycorax, a witch who tormented Ariel for years and sent her to do Sycorax’s biddings which were neither affable, (FAST) nor exciting. Soon enough Ariel was tired and had become “a spirit too delicate” for the work, which made her mistress quite frustrated. She locked Ariel in a “cloven pine” for a “dozen years” until Sycorax died, but Ariel was not yet free. However soon after the death of the witch, Prospero and his three year old daughter arrived. When Ariel was freed by Prospero’s new found sorcerer talents, she pledges to help Prospero for a while out of gratitude. Unfortunately Ariel hasn't had a day off in twelve years, yet alone the year she was supposed to have off some time ago. Interestingly, the seemingly kind and generous Prospero obviously has some dark secrets to reveal. (Participle phrase, sentence opener)
The Tempest has another character in the play that I find quite intriguing, he is named Caliban. He also experiences interminable (FAST) confinement and servitude, but unfortunately has it harder than Ariel. Being born from the witch, Sycorax, Caliban is a half human creature often referred to as the “freckled whelp hag-born”, which doesn’t make his life easy. Before Prospero and Miranda arrived, he was his own king and lived a life of happiness despite his appearance. However, when Prospero did come, mostly because of his form, but partially because of his attitude, he was sentenced to carry logs for Prospero’s and Miranda’s fires, which kept them warm at night. I find this quite unfair, but it seems that a reoccurring theme in this play is inequitable (FAST) judgment and sentence. Caliban, like Ariel has not had a day off since carrying that first log, but unlike Ariel has not been promised one. It appears that Caliban will be carrying logs for the rest of his years, without a break, but I think it seems as if he is soon going to force a change in this apparent life of misery.
Both Ariel and Caliban have similarities, but different consequences that divide them apart. I can only wonder how all of this will turn out in the coming acts of The Tempest.
*************************************************
Graphic Organiser:
Intro:
Two characters, similarities and differences
1st Body:
SD: Sycorax's wrath on Ariel
CM's: Locked her in a "cloven pine" for not performing evil deeds
SD: Prosperos kindness
CM's: Prospero's unkindness
2nd Body:
SD: Caliban's life is more unfortunate
CM's: born from Sycorax, but was own king
SD: Prospero and Miranda made him merely a slave
CM's: sentanced to carry logs, but it seems is fighting back
Conclusion:
different consequences drive Ariel and Caliban apart
Mr. Salsich
English 9
January 28th, 2009
Consequences
My Thoughts on the Similarities and Differences of Two Characters in ‘The Tempest’ by William Shakespeare
There are two characters in the well known play The Tempest by William Shakespeare that seem to have many reoccurring similarities and differences. (Participle phrase, sentence closer) Many of these have to do with the subject of confinement and servitude.
Ariel, one of the characters experiences a lot of confinement and servitude in the play so far, and I am curious how it will continue. The first of these was created by Sycorax, a witch who tormented Ariel for years and sent her to do Sycorax’s biddings which were neither affable, (FAST) nor exciting. Soon enough Ariel was tired and had become “a spirit too delicate” for the work, which made her mistress quite frustrated. She locked Ariel in a “cloven pine” for a “dozen years” until Sycorax died, but Ariel was not yet free. However soon after the death of the witch, Prospero and his three year old daughter arrived. When Ariel was freed by Prospero’s new found sorcerer talents, she pledges to help Prospero for a while out of gratitude. Unfortunately Ariel hasn't had a day off in twelve years, yet alone the year she was supposed to have off some time ago. Interestingly, the seemingly kind and generous Prospero obviously has some dark secrets to reveal. (Participle phrase, sentence opener)
The Tempest has another character in the play that I find quite intriguing, he is named Caliban. He also experiences interminable (FAST) confinement and servitude, but unfortunately has it harder than Ariel. Being born from the witch, Sycorax, Caliban is a half human creature often referred to as the “freckled whelp hag-born”, which doesn’t make his life easy. Before Prospero and Miranda arrived, he was his own king and lived a life of happiness despite his appearance. However, when Prospero did come, mostly because of his form, but partially because of his attitude, he was sentenced to carry logs for Prospero’s and Miranda’s fires, which kept them warm at night. I find this quite unfair, but it seems that a reoccurring theme in this play is inequitable (FAST) judgment and sentence. Caliban, like Ariel has not had a day off since carrying that first log, but unlike Ariel has not been promised one. It appears that Caliban will be carrying logs for the rest of his years, without a break, but I think it seems as if he is soon going to force a change in this apparent life of misery.
Both Ariel and Caliban have similarities, but different consequences that divide them apart. I can only wonder how all of this will turn out in the coming acts of The Tempest.
*************************************************
Graphic Organiser:
Intro:
Two characters, similarities and differences
1st Body:
SD: Sycorax's wrath on Ariel
CM's: Locked her in a "cloven pine" for not performing evil deeds
SD: Prosperos kindness
CM's: Prospero's unkindness
2nd Body:
SD: Caliban's life is more unfortunate
CM's: born from Sycorax, but was own king
SD: Prospero and Miranda made him merely a slave
CM's: sentanced to carry logs, but it seems is fighting back
Conclusion:
different consequences drive Ariel and Caliban apart
1st Body Paragraph
In the beginning of “The Tempest” Ariel’s confinement and servitude was pretty apparent. Arial is a shy and timid character who hasn’t quite found her place. One thing that confines Ariel is the ability to have magic. While magic may be a cool thing, it can come with a price. Ariel learned that if you act in the wrong way, the mean and nasty Sycorax will come after you. While ending up being in the possession of Sycorax, Ariel learned some lessons. Ariel learned that you will be limited to “space” in a tree as your living quarters and it won’t be fun. You also will be transferred to an “oak” if you don’t obey the rules and commands. While Ariel completed all of her tasks, she didn’t do it gracefully. Ariel was too apprehensive to complete some of the tough jobs that were given to her which is why she ended up living the way she did. Although luckily for Ariel, that experience ended up with the mean guy dead and the world felt like it was her oyster.
Olivia's Essay
Olivia Denison
Mr. Salsich
English 9
1 February 2009
Confinement and Servitude:
Similarities and Differences in Ariel’s and Caliban’s Situation
When you have wanted something so badly, or miss something you once have had, it can be difficult vocalize it, especially when there was something that you were afraid of standing in your way. Ariel and Caliban, from Shakespeare’s “The Tempest”, both confronted this problem. Ariel’s dilemma was slightly easier than Caliban’s, because she was not ordered around doing Prospero’s dirty work. Caliban was a slave. Being ordered around, and being told what to do, he could not control his situation. (Sentence opener, participle phrase) Caliban had a glorious life before Prospero came to the island and wrested it away; whereas Ariel was given some control over her life, resulting in a slightly better life than Caliban’s.
Ariel’s position was gradually elevated from a powerless prisoner to a subordinate protégé of Prospero. When Ariel was with Sycorax, she could not obey “her earthy and abhorr’d commands.” Sycorax had “immitigable rage” that she confined Ariel in a pine tree for twelve years. When Sycorax died and Prospero arrived, he heard Ariel screaming to come out of the tree, so he freed her of her confinement. From that point on Ariel was thankful that Prospero freed her from the tree and obeyed him. Although he used her for her powers, Prospero was a great deal better to her than Sycorax ever was, treating her with respect. (Sentence closer, participle phrase) After she created the storm to strand the sailors, she wanted a break, because she “told [Prospero] no lies, made [him] no mistakings, served without or grudge or grumblings”, but Prospero replied if she complained anymore, he would put her in an oak tree. Ariel did not want to end up in a tree again, especially an oak tree since they were even stronger and harder to get out of. Ariel had more say and was not confined by Prospero; however, if she followed his orders, maybe she would have even more say. She also understood that Prospero would not make her do horrible things like Sycorax, which she was thankful for. Ariel was happier than before, but still would want to be completely free from anyone’s rule.
The relationship between Prospero and his slave, Caliban, disintegrated until Caliban became completely subservient and powerless. Although a native to the island, Caliban was a very ugly, freckly and deformed creature, who was generally disliked by most who knew him. Prospero always referred to Caliban as a “slave” or a “tortoise” who was “got by the devil himself”. Furthermore, the power of Prospero’s curses always outmatched Caliban’s curses. However, none of these reasons for the poor relationship between Caliban and Prospero compared to Prospero’s outrage over Caliban’s attempted rape of his daughter, Miranda. Of course, Prospero brought this up and Caliban retorted with, “O ho O ho! Would’t had been done! Thou didst prevent me; I had peopled else this isle with Calibans.” Before all this happened, Prospero and he once lived in peace. Caliban showed Prospero the island and its resources and Prospero taught him his language. However, that was all destroyed in the end. Caliban was banished to the forest, far away from Prospero and his daughter, and Caliban was only summoned when Prospero wanted to make fun of him or had a dirty deed for him. Caliban conceded to the higher power even though he was a native, because he realized that he could never match a mighty man like Prospero.
Ariel and Caliban were both confined, because they were fearful of what Prospero would do if they did not obey him. They both longed for a better life, not to be threatened and ordered around, but they had no choice. Caliban, a completely powerless slave wanted to return to the freedom that he once enjoyed before Prospero came to his island. Ariel on the other hand, was somewhat satisfied with the life that Prospero had granted her, but like Caliban, longed for freedom and self-determination.
Intro:
Want something bad, miss something you once had, hard to vocalize when you are afraid, A and C both have problems A’s problem is better C used to have a glorious life before Prospero
1st Paragraph:
TS: In the beginning Ariel had no say in her life and was with told what to do
SD: Sycorax could not obey (use quote)
CM: Sycorax puts her in a tree
CM: Sycorax dies Prospero comes
SD: Prospero takes Ariel in
CM: uses her for her powers but better than Sycorax
CM: wants a break after creates the storm
SD: follows orders less confined but still is
CM: doesn’t want to end up in another tree
CM: know he would do terrible things
CS: Ariel is happier but still could be happier
2nd paragraph:
TS: Caliban Prospero’s slave, native
SD: curses against each other
CM: ugly deformed creature nobody likes
CM: tried t rape Miranda
SD: retorts at the subject
CM: once lived in peace
CM: lives in forest away from everything
CS: can’t fight Prospero
Con:
Both confined because afraid, would like a better life, C wants old life back, A wants the life she has but with more freedom
Self-assessment
The writing issues I am continuing to work on are punctuation and smoothness. I think with better punctuation skills my writing will become smother, so it’s kind of two in one.
I think I did a good job with blending my quotes into the sentences. It has always been a problem for me, because I usually use a quote as a sentence or the use of the quote isn’t right.
I don’t think I explained the similarities and differences of Ariel and Caliban very well. I feel as though I just explained what happened to them rather than comparing.
Grade: 85
Mr. Salsich
English 9
1 February 2009
Confinement and Servitude:
Similarities and Differences in Ariel’s and Caliban’s Situation
When you have wanted something so badly, or miss something you once have had, it can be difficult vocalize it, especially when there was something that you were afraid of standing in your way. Ariel and Caliban, from Shakespeare’s “The Tempest”, both confronted this problem. Ariel’s dilemma was slightly easier than Caliban’s, because she was not ordered around doing Prospero’s dirty work. Caliban was a slave. Being ordered around, and being told what to do, he could not control his situation. (Sentence opener, participle phrase) Caliban had a glorious life before Prospero came to the island and wrested it away; whereas Ariel was given some control over her life, resulting in a slightly better life than Caliban’s.
Ariel’s position was gradually elevated from a powerless prisoner to a subordinate protégé of Prospero. When Ariel was with Sycorax, she could not obey “her earthy and abhorr’d commands.” Sycorax had “immitigable rage” that she confined Ariel in a pine tree for twelve years. When Sycorax died and Prospero arrived, he heard Ariel screaming to come out of the tree, so he freed her of her confinement. From that point on Ariel was thankful that Prospero freed her from the tree and obeyed him. Although he used her for her powers, Prospero was a great deal better to her than Sycorax ever was, treating her with respect. (Sentence closer, participle phrase) After she created the storm to strand the sailors, she wanted a break, because she “told [Prospero] no lies, made [him] no mistakings, served without or grudge or grumblings”, but Prospero replied if she complained anymore, he would put her in an oak tree. Ariel did not want to end up in a tree again, especially an oak tree since they were even stronger and harder to get out of. Ariel had more say and was not confined by Prospero; however, if she followed his orders, maybe she would have even more say. She also understood that Prospero would not make her do horrible things like Sycorax, which she was thankful for. Ariel was happier than before, but still would want to be completely free from anyone’s rule.
The relationship between Prospero and his slave, Caliban, disintegrated until Caliban became completely subservient and powerless. Although a native to the island, Caliban was a very ugly, freckly and deformed creature, who was generally disliked by most who knew him. Prospero always referred to Caliban as a “slave” or a “tortoise” who was “got by the devil himself”. Furthermore, the power of Prospero’s curses always outmatched Caliban’s curses. However, none of these reasons for the poor relationship between Caliban and Prospero compared to Prospero’s outrage over Caliban’s attempted rape of his daughter, Miranda. Of course, Prospero brought this up and Caliban retorted with, “O ho O ho! Would’t had been done! Thou didst prevent me; I had peopled else this isle with Calibans.” Before all this happened, Prospero and he once lived in peace. Caliban showed Prospero the island and its resources and Prospero taught him his language. However, that was all destroyed in the end. Caliban was banished to the forest, far away from Prospero and his daughter, and Caliban was only summoned when Prospero wanted to make fun of him or had a dirty deed for him. Caliban conceded to the higher power even though he was a native, because he realized that he could never match a mighty man like Prospero.
Ariel and Caliban were both confined, because they were fearful of what Prospero would do if they did not obey him. They both longed for a better life, not to be threatened and ordered around, but they had no choice. Caliban, a completely powerless slave wanted to return to the freedom that he once enjoyed before Prospero came to his island. Ariel on the other hand, was somewhat satisfied with the life that Prospero had granted her, but like Caliban, longed for freedom and self-determination.
Intro:
Want something bad, miss something you once had, hard to vocalize when you are afraid, A and C both have problems A’s problem is better C used to have a glorious life before Prospero
1st Paragraph:
TS: In the beginning Ariel had no say in her life and was with told what to do
SD: Sycorax could not obey (use quote)
CM: Sycorax puts her in a tree
CM: Sycorax dies Prospero comes
SD: Prospero takes Ariel in
CM: uses her for her powers but better than Sycorax
CM: wants a break after creates the storm
SD: follows orders less confined but still is
CM: doesn’t want to end up in another tree
CM: know he would do terrible things
CS: Ariel is happier but still could be happier
2nd paragraph:
TS: Caliban Prospero’s slave, native
SD: curses against each other
CM: ugly deformed creature nobody likes
CM: tried t rape Miranda
SD: retorts at the subject
CM: once lived in peace
CM: lives in forest away from everything
CS: can’t fight Prospero
Con:
Both confined because afraid, would like a better life, C wants old life back, A wants the life she has but with more freedom
Self-assessment
The writing issues I am continuing to work on are punctuation and smoothness. I think with better punctuation skills my writing will become smother, so it’s kind of two in one.
I think I did a good job with blending my quotes into the sentences. It has always been a problem for me, because I usually use a quote as a sentence or the use of the quote isn’t right.
I don’t think I explained the similarities and differences of Ariel and Caliban very well. I feel as though I just explained what happened to them rather than comparing.
Grade: 85
Monday, January 12, 2009
Hannah's Polished Paragraph
Hannah Staley
English 9
Mr. Salsich
12 January 2009
Prospero vs. Antonio
An Eleven Sentence Paragraph on Betrayal and the Use of Literary Elements
TS: In Act I, Scene II, Shakespeare uses hyperbole to emphasize betrayal, which is the main theme of the passage. SD: “Of all the world I loved and to him put/ the manage of my state” is a dramatic overstatement of Prospero’s love of the world and his generosity in handing over his position to his brother. CM: To compare love of the world to his love of his brother is a little exaggerated. CM: This literary element is used again when Prospero overstates how “rapt” Antonio was in working against him. SD: Another literary element that is apparent in this passage is foreshadowing. CM: We are lead to believe that Antonio has died in the shipwreck, but we don’t know that for sure. CM: It could be that Prospero is setting the stage for a battle with Antonio. SD: Prospero’s description of betrayal by Antonio to Miranda is another reason why a fight with Antonio may happen in the future. CM: “The government I cast upon my brother/And to my state grew stranger…Thy false uncle” Prospero’s way of getting Miranda to understand the situation, to hate her uncle, and to make himself look impressive. CM: It could be that Prospero is concerned that his daughter might think he is not as important as Antonio. CS: There are many ways this story could go, but betrayal is definitely part of the picture and Shakespeare has used many literary elements to show it.
English 9
Mr. Salsich
12 January 2009
Prospero vs. Antonio
An Eleven Sentence Paragraph on Betrayal and the Use of Literary Elements
TS: In Act I, Scene II, Shakespeare uses hyperbole to emphasize betrayal, which is the main theme of the passage. SD: “Of all the world I loved and to him put/ the manage of my state” is a dramatic overstatement of Prospero’s love of the world and his generosity in handing over his position to his brother. CM: To compare love of the world to his love of his brother is a little exaggerated. CM: This literary element is used again when Prospero overstates how “rapt” Antonio was in working against him. SD: Another literary element that is apparent in this passage is foreshadowing. CM: We are lead to believe that Antonio has died in the shipwreck, but we don’t know that for sure. CM: It could be that Prospero is setting the stage for a battle with Antonio. SD: Prospero’s description of betrayal by Antonio to Miranda is another reason why a fight with Antonio may happen in the future. CM: “The government I cast upon my brother/And to my state grew stranger…Thy false uncle” Prospero’s way of getting Miranda to understand the situation, to hate her uncle, and to make himself look impressive. CM: It could be that Prospero is concerned that his daughter might think he is not as important as Antonio. CS: There are many ways this story could go, but betrayal is definitely part of the picture and Shakespeare has used many literary elements to show it.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Olivia's Essay
Olivia Denison
Mr. Salsich
English 9
12 January 2009
Revenge:
An Analysis of a Theme in “The Tempest” and Shakespeare’s Use of
Literary Terms
TS In Act 2, Scene 1 on page ten of The Tempest, Shakespeare’s theme is revenge. SD Miranda is confused about why her father, Prospero, created a storm and sunk a ship; she is distressed hearing the people scream as it goes down into the waves. CM Prospero enlightens her of their past and how they became stranded on an island. CM He tells of how he was, “Reputed in dignity, and for the liberal arts without a parallel; those being all my study, the government cast upon my brother”. SD When he was duke of Milan, he only read books about geography and the arts; he did not pay attention to what his brother was plotting. CM At one point, Prospero loved his brother. However, he soon discovered that his brother could “be so perfidious”. CM One day, his brother usurped his position of Duke of Milan and “Transported and rapt in secret studies” Prospero and his daughter out to sea in a small dilapidated boat. SD Ironically, Antonio and The King of Naples once sent Prospero out on a boat. Now Antonio and The King of Naples are on a ship and Prospero is controlling the storm that strands them on the island with him. CM Also, tempest itself is a symbol. CM The tempest refers to the army that expelled Prospero and his daughter much like the storm that has stranded Antonio and the King of Naples on the island. CS Who knew one’s brother could be so deceiving?
Monday, December 15, 2008
Friday, December 12, 2008
Hannah's Full Essay
Hannah Staley
Mr. Salsich
9 English
15 December 2008
Regrets, can’t live with them can’t live with out them
An essay on a regret in my life and my plan on living regret free
OP: Regrets when you think about it are such simple things. In a way they are like mistakes, some more significant than the others. In my life I have had very few regrets, but I’m only fourteen so that will change. Also, something I am working on in my life is not holding grudges with myself about these predicaments.
TS: A past regret that was pretty important to me occurred in the seventh grade. SD: My best friend at the time and I were really close, like sisters when all of a sudden that changed. CM: One day she got a boyfriend and we both thought that that was a really cool thing and we would talk about it on our regular Friday sleepovers. CM: Then one day her boyfriend and I got into a fight. SD: At first we tried to work things out between the three of us because we wanted to resolve a solution and do this for each other. CM: But the result wasn’t that great and it was deeply disappointing for me. CM: My best friend at the time ended up dumping her boyfriend so we could work on our friendship and that only made people look down on me as a person more. SD: Now looking back on the situation, it drew my best friend and me more apart and we aren’t as close. CM: I really miss those daily Friday sleepovers and talking about everything. CM: In a way our friendship ended in such a sudden way that now I fell like there wasn’t anything there and sometimes I get sad about that.
TS: Most people know me as being a somewhat paranoid person and something I am pretty paranoid about is learning to deal with regret. SD: From this point on, something I want to work on is living my life with no regrets. CM: I have slowly come to realize that these regrets, vexatious little pieces of my past, have controlled me for way to long (S-V split). CM: I have turned into the type of person who carries these regrets with her and hasn’t quite figured out how to “let go.” SD: So from this day forward I am going to make these nagging regrets memories, forever. CM: While these annoying regrets have bothered me for the past few years of my life, they have done me one bit of good and that’s that these regrets have shaped me as a person. CM: After regretting loosing one of the best friendships I have ever had, I learned that two people need to work at a situation like this together in order to make it work. CM: I have also learned that at the end of all good things, new great things begin (chiasmus).
CP: I have had many experiences in my life and now thinking about regrets I realized how many I actually have. While writing this paper, I have learned that regrets are just like mistakes and although they aren’t always fixable, they are a learning experience. I really want to thank the people in my life who have caused me to regret, because they are the people who have helped me become the girl I am today.
Self Assessment:
1. What do you like best about your essay? What I like the most about my essay is my 1st body paragraph. I think I got pretty personal which helps the reader get to know a little bit about what I went through and maybe they can even relate to the same situation.
2. What was the hardest part of this assignment for you? The hardest part of this assignment for me was using the S-V split and chiasmus. These writing tools look easy but then when I have to apply them to my writing I get confused. So that is something I am also trying to work on.
Mr. Salsich
9 English
15 December 2008
Regrets, can’t live with them can’t live with out them
An essay on a regret in my life and my plan on living regret free
OP: Regrets when you think about it are such simple things. In a way they are like mistakes, some more significant than the others. In my life I have had very few regrets, but I’m only fourteen so that will change. Also, something I am working on in my life is not holding grudges with myself about these predicaments.
TS: A past regret that was pretty important to me occurred in the seventh grade. SD: My best friend at the time and I were really close, like sisters when all of a sudden that changed. CM: One day she got a boyfriend and we both thought that that was a really cool thing and we would talk about it on our regular Friday sleepovers. CM: Then one day her boyfriend and I got into a fight. SD: At first we tried to work things out between the three of us because we wanted to resolve a solution and do this for each other. CM: But the result wasn’t that great and it was deeply disappointing for me. CM: My best friend at the time ended up dumping her boyfriend so we could work on our friendship and that only made people look down on me as a person more. SD: Now looking back on the situation, it drew my best friend and me more apart and we aren’t as close. CM: I really miss those daily Friday sleepovers and talking about everything. CM: In a way our friendship ended in such a sudden way that now I fell like there wasn’t anything there and sometimes I get sad about that.
TS: Most people know me as being a somewhat paranoid person and something I am pretty paranoid about is learning to deal with regret. SD: From this point on, something I want to work on is living my life with no regrets. CM: I have slowly come to realize that these regrets, vexatious little pieces of my past, have controlled me for way to long (S-V split). CM: I have turned into the type of person who carries these regrets with her and hasn’t quite figured out how to “let go.” SD: So from this day forward I am going to make these nagging regrets memories, forever. CM: While these annoying regrets have bothered me for the past few years of my life, they have done me one bit of good and that’s that these regrets have shaped me as a person. CM: After regretting loosing one of the best friendships I have ever had, I learned that two people need to work at a situation like this together in order to make it work. CM: I have also learned that at the end of all good things, new great things begin (chiasmus).
CP: I have had many experiences in my life and now thinking about regrets I realized how many I actually have. While writing this paper, I have learned that regrets are just like mistakes and although they aren’t always fixable, they are a learning experience. I really want to thank the people in my life who have caused me to regret, because they are the people who have helped me become the girl I am today.
Self Assessment:
1. What do you like best about your essay? What I like the most about my essay is my 1st body paragraph. I think I got pretty personal which helps the reader get to know a little bit about what I went through and maybe they can even relate to the same situation.
2. What was the hardest part of this assignment for you? The hardest part of this assignment for me was using the S-V split and chiasmus. These writing tools look easy but then when I have to apply them to my writing I get confused. So that is something I am also trying to work on.
Hannah's Graphic Organizer
Regret Essay Outline
Hannah Staley 12-11-2008
OP- There has been many regrets thru ought my life and some are definitely more significant than others….
TS: A past regret that I have occurred in the 7th grade…
SD: My best friend and I were so close (like sisters) and then that all changed…
TS: When she got a boyfriend, we both thought it was really cool and we would talk about it on our daily sleepovers…
TS: Then one day her boyfriend and I got into a fight….
SD: At first, we tried to figure things out with the three of us because that was going to be out resolution…..
TS: Nothing seemed to work….
TS: my best friend dumped him for me only to cause more drama…
SD: Now looking back my then best friend and I aren’t as close…
TS: I really miss those daily sleepovers…
TS: Our friendship ended in such a sudden way that now I almost feel like nothing was ever there….
TS: Since I am a somewhat paranoid person, from now on I am going to try to (live with no regrets)….
SD: I have realized that in a way these regrets have changed me to much…
TS: I have turned myself into someone that takes these regrets everywhere with her…
TS: From now on, these regrets are going to become memories…..
SD: Also not only have these regrets changed me, but they have shaped me as a person as well…
TS: Once I lost one of the best friendships I have ever had, I realized that you need to work at it (BOTH PEOPLE)…..
TS: I have also realized that at the end of all good things there are new beginnings….
CP: I have had many experiences in my life and writing this paper made me realize exactly how I might be able to get rid of some of those regrets that are riding on me….
Hannah Staley 12-11-2008
OP- There has been many regrets thru ought my life and some are definitely more significant than others….
TS: A past regret that I have occurred in the 7th grade…
SD: My best friend and I were so close (like sisters) and then that all changed…
TS: When she got a boyfriend, we both thought it was really cool and we would talk about it on our daily sleepovers…
TS: Then one day her boyfriend and I got into a fight….
SD: At first, we tried to figure things out with the three of us because that was going to be out resolution…..
TS: Nothing seemed to work….
TS: my best friend dumped him for me only to cause more drama…
SD: Now looking back my then best friend and I aren’t as close…
TS: I really miss those daily sleepovers…
TS: Our friendship ended in such a sudden way that now I almost feel like nothing was ever there….
TS: Since I am a somewhat paranoid person, from now on I am going to try to (live with no regrets)….
SD: I have realized that in a way these regrets have changed me to much…
TS: I have turned myself into someone that takes these regrets everywhere with her…
TS: From now on, these regrets are going to become memories…..
SD: Also not only have these regrets changed me, but they have shaped me as a person as well…
TS: Once I lost one of the best friendships I have ever had, I realized that you need to work at it (BOTH PEOPLE)…..
TS: I have also realized that at the end of all good things there are new beginnings….
CP: I have had many experiences in my life and writing this paper made me realize exactly how I might be able to get rid of some of those regrets that are riding on me….
Eleanor's Essay #9 (sorry it's late some of it deleted and I had to rewrite)
Eleanor Hilton
Mr. Salsich
English 9
December 15th 2008
Regrets
My Thoughts about some Parts of My Life I Wish I could Change
Whether it’s to do with sports, home life or even your friends, everyone does something they regret later. In ‘The Christmas Carol”, a timeless, beautiful story written over one hundred years ago, by Charles Dickens we learn that Scrooge, the main character of the story, is mean and unbelievably bitter. However, we then learn that Scrooge regrets his ways and overcomes them later in the story. I too have had some regrets.
T.S In the summer coming up to my eighth grade year at Pine Point, I went away to a camp for three weeks. S.D The camp was called Explo which has been shortened from the official term ‘Exploration’. C.M At this camp I created some amazing memories which I still remember, and cherish. C.M Infact, I’m still corresponding with most of the people I was there with. S.D Unfortunately there was a regret that came from this stupendous experience. C.M At Explo, I was only friends with the people in my hall, the four or five rooms that were part of a group, with two helpful and friendly advisors. C.M I wish that I could have become friends with maybe even a few more of the two hundred other people there, instead of hiding away like Scrooge and only sharing a laugh with my hall-mates. C.S Even though this one regret hangs over me, I cannot forget the fun times I have shared with my many other friends.
T.S Even though I regret not talking to as many people, I do believe that some good has come from it. S.D To begin with, I am now more courageous and willing to go up to someone new and say, ‘Hi I’m Eleanor. What’s your name?’. C.M Now, when I go to my new school next year, I will be willing to meet new people. S.D Also, I have learned the importance of having more friends. C.M The more people you know, the more content you will be. C.M Yes I did have a fun at Explo, and was happy there. C.M However, sometimes my hall-mates were off doing one thing and I was somewhere else. C.S If I had talked more, I would already know some of the other people and wouldn’t have to take the time to break the ice, and make new friends.
Before, I ignored the other people, so then the other people ignored me. Now, I know better. I know that any person is worth talking to and making friends with, it doesn’t matter whether they are in your hall or not. It doesn’t even matter if they live half way across the globe, if all the countries and people kept to themselves our planet would be a disaster.
***********************************************
G.O
Intro: Like Scrooge I have some regrets
1st Body:
1st chunk, last summer I went to a camp called Explo, here I made some great friend and have many memories
2nd chunk, However I regret that I didn't make many other friends outside our dorm
2nd Body:
1st chunk, However, I am now more courageous and willing to talk andm eet new faces.
2nd chunk, In activities it would have been helpful to already know people instead of trying to break the ice in the midst of a talk or something.
Conclusion: Everyone is worth talking to and making friends with.
************************************************
SA
Question 1: I especially like my first FAST word. Also, I like how I have written my introductory paragraph, I think it flows nicely.
Queston 2: The hardest part I believe was writing the chiasmus as I have not done one before. It was even more so difficult because I had to figure it out, instead of being taught by Mr. Salsich, who helps make writing much more enjoyable.
Mr. Salsich
English 9
December 15th 2008
Regrets
My Thoughts about some Parts of My Life I Wish I could Change
Whether it’s to do with sports, home life or even your friends, everyone does something they regret later. In ‘The Christmas Carol”, a timeless, beautiful story written over one hundred years ago, by Charles Dickens we learn that Scrooge, the main character of the story, is mean and unbelievably bitter. However, we then learn that Scrooge regrets his ways and overcomes them later in the story. I too have had some regrets.
T.S In the summer coming up to my eighth grade year at Pine Point, I went away to a camp for three weeks. S.D The camp was called Explo which has been shortened from the official term ‘Exploration’. C.M At this camp I created some amazing memories which I still remember, and cherish. C.M Infact, I’m still corresponding with most of the people I was there with. S.D Unfortunately there was a regret that came from this stupendous experience. C.M At Explo, I was only friends with the people in my hall, the four or five rooms that were part of a group, with two helpful and friendly advisors. C.M I wish that I could have become friends with maybe even a few more of the two hundred other people there, instead of hiding away like Scrooge and only sharing a laugh with my hall-mates. C.S Even though this one regret hangs over me, I cannot forget the fun times I have shared with my many other friends.
T.S Even though I regret not talking to as many people, I do believe that some good has come from it. S.D To begin with, I am now more courageous and willing to go up to someone new and say, ‘Hi I’m Eleanor. What’s your name?’. C.M Now, when I go to my new school next year, I will be willing to meet new people. S.D Also, I have learned the importance of having more friends. C.M The more people you know, the more content you will be. C.M Yes I did have a fun at Explo, and was happy there. C.M However, sometimes my hall-mates were off doing one thing and I was somewhere else. C.S If I had talked more, I would already know some of the other people and wouldn’t have to take the time to break the ice, and make new friends.
Before, I ignored the other people, so then the other people ignored me. Now, I know better. I know that any person is worth talking to and making friends with, it doesn’t matter whether they are in your hall or not. It doesn’t even matter if they live half way across the globe, if all the countries and people kept to themselves our planet would be a disaster.
***********************************************
G.O
Intro: Like Scrooge I have some regrets
1st Body:
1st chunk, last summer I went to a camp called Explo, here I made some great friend and have many memories
2nd chunk, However I regret that I didn't make many other friends outside our dorm
2nd Body:
1st chunk, However, I am now more courageous and willing to talk andm eet new faces.
2nd chunk, In activities it would have been helpful to already know people instead of trying to break the ice in the midst of a talk or something.
Conclusion: Everyone is worth talking to and making friends with.
************************************************
SA
Question 1: I especially like my first FAST word. Also, I like how I have written my introductory paragraph, I think it flows nicely.
Queston 2: The hardest part I believe was writing the chiasmus as I have not done one before. It was even more so difficult because I had to figure it out, instead of being taught by Mr. Salsich, who helps make writing much more enjoyable.
Olivia's Essay
Olivia Denison
Mr. Salsich
English 9
15 November 2008
What do you regret?
What I regret and what Mr. Scrooge regrets
Do you ever want to go back in time and change something? Do you even realize at that instant that you might regret what you are doing? Scrooge didn’t realize what he was doing to himself or to others until his dead friend came to talk to him about his faults. I didn’t even think what I was saying or doing when my grandma called, and now, just like Scrooge, I regret what happened that day.
TS A few days before she died, my grandma called. SD I remember that she was asking a lot of questions and I wasn’t really paying attention because I had a friend over and we were getting ready to leave for a long weekend in New Hampshire CM She was telling me about this “game”, the choking game, where kids try to hold their breath as long as they can. CM I told her that I had never heard of it and neither had my friend. SD She told me to never play this game because kids were dying from playing it. CM I told her I never would, and that it was unintelligent for a person to do something like that. CM She was satisfied with my answer, and we eventually parted with, “I love you”. CS Since then, I have kept my promise to her and have not done anything that would put my life in danger and I hope my grandma is looking down on me and is pleased with what she is seeing.
TS There are many things I regret that day, including some things that I learned when I was child that I could have done better. SD For instance, when I was talking to her on the phone, I didn’t make her feel loved because I was preoccupied with what was happening at the time. CM If I had known that it would be the last time I talked to her, I would have shown more love toward her. CM I should have at least shown a more caring tone in my voice because I think she thought I didn’t care at the time. SD Secondly, I wasn’t paying attention and listening to what she had to say. CM I should have excused myself from my friend’s company and gone to another room. I was so distracted by my friend’s presence, that I wasn’t even paying attention to her conversation, which made it hard to say anything meaningful. CM My grandma didn’t show she was hurt and I realize that she just wanted to hear my eager voice, but instead I think she was disappointed with me. CS If I could do it all over again and make my grandma come back, I would do everything in the world to make her feel wanted and needed.
You never know what the future will bring, so be careful about what you do and say. I am not saying always do everything right, but try to be as kind as possible because it might come back to bite you, so bite it before it bites you. In other words, be ahead of the game and if you can’t, change what you have done. If you regret something, try to fix it; and if you can, do so quickly.
Graphic organizer
Introduction: Do you ever want to go back in time and fix something or do you even realize at that instant that what you are doing might be a regret later. Scrooge didn’t realize what he was doing to himself and others until his dead friend came to talk to him about. I didn’t realize it until that person was gone.
1st body paragraph:
TS: New Hampshire, few days before my grandma died
SD: she was asking a lot of questions and I wasn’t paying attention
CM: told me about the choking game
CM: I had never heard of it
SD: kids were dying from it
CM: I never would do it because it was unintelligent
CM: was pleased
CS: kept my promise
2nd body paragraph:
TS: many things I regret, and I had learned these things long ago
SD: didn’t make her feel loved
CM: if I had known it would have been the last time, I would have showed more love
CM: I think she thought I didn’t care about her at the time
SD: wasn’t paying attention or listening
CM: should have excused myself from my friend
CM: didn’t show she was hurt but I knew she was disappointed
CS: make her feel wanted and needed
Conclusion: I am not saying always do everything right but try to be as kind as possible because it might come back and bite you, but you have to bite it before it bites you. In other words be ahead of the game. If you regret something try to fix if you can that is and if you can do so quickly.
Self Assessment
What I like best about my essay…
What I like about my essay is that I think I did a good job explaining my feelings about what happened that day. I did a good job going into depth about my feelings for my grandma, too.
What was the hardest part of this assignment for me?
Organization was the hardest part for me. I don’t think it flows very well and maybe in some parts boring.
Friday, December 5, 2008
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Message in a Christmas story
What you should do in life
We all understand that some things in life are hard to give up and others not so much. Jacob Marley And Ebenzer Scrooge were and are two very selfish people who only think of themselves. Jacob Marley died with and burden that he didn’t even notice he was wearing around his waist until when he died and was sent back to earth to wander it to try to help people not become like him. The ghost of Jacob comes to speak to Scrooge about his mistakes so far in life and how to become a better person.
TS Have you ever thought how your actions for people, and not for yourself are more important? SD The Ghost Jacob Marley in the story “A Christmas Carol” tries to tell his mortal friend that what he is doing is wrong, and that he should help people instead of turning them away. CM Jacob says to Scrooge that once you keep on being selfish it will eventually catch up to you and you have to pay for it when you die. CM This is what Jacob had to do because he was the same way Scrooge was, stingy, stubborn, cranky and mean old man, and now he has come to tell Scrooge that he needs to change. SD “ I wear the chain I forged in life, I made it made link by link, and yard by yard; I girded it on my own free will, and of my own free will I wore it.” CM By being mean and only thinking for himself, Jacob had some sort of a “weight” that he wore around his waist and every time he refused to help some one it would get a tiny bit bigger and he didn’t even notice the weight he was carrying until he died. CM The message that completely but simply sums this moral up is that, It’s nice to be important, but more important to be nice. CS A businessman like Scrooge should maybe follow his dead friends advice on changing instead of waiting around being mean to people and until it’s to late to go back.
Hannah's In class Essay
Hannah Staley
Mr. Salsich
9 English
4 December 2008
Life and Death
A three-paragraph essay on my interpretation of a quote from “ A Christmas Carol” By Charles Dickens
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OP: “A Christmas Carol” by Charles Dickens tells the story of a true friendship but in a different perspective. Ebenezer Scrooge is a bitter man who lost his business partner of seven years. His name was Marley. Once Marley dies, his ghost comes back and speaks to Scrooge. What Marley says is interesting and really shows how much both of them are committed to the friendship even though one of them isn’t there.-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
TS: In the play “A Christmas Carol” by Charles Dickens, there is a quote that stood out to me. SD: When Marley the ghost says, “ I wear the chain I forged in life” I think he might be talking about his working experience with Scrooge and his life in general. CM: Scrooge is a bitter man, who likes to be left alone. CM: So for Marley, working with Scrooge for seven years may have been a scaring experience, but a learning one at the same time. SD: Also, when Marley says that he “made it link by link and yard by yard” that means that the chain as a whole represents his life. CM: The chain represents how he has made it though the toughest of times and the happiest of times. CM: And through it all he did have Scrooge there as a friend even though it might not have felt like it. CS: Overall, Marley lived a very fulfilling life and was very lucky to have Scrooge as a friend and business partner because he’s one of those people who you don’t think care’s very much, when really he care’s the most (chiasmus).
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CP: Scrooge and Marley got along well together and the chain can signify many things. The chain definitely connects the things that have happened in Marley’s life together and Scrooge realized that which is a really cool thing. Scrooge in a way realized how much he missed Marley once he saw his ghost and one link of the chain can represent their friendship as well.
Mr. Salsich
9 English
4 December 2008
Life and Death
A three-paragraph essay on my interpretation of a quote from “ A Christmas Carol” By Charles Dickens
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
OP: “A Christmas Carol” by Charles Dickens tells the story of a true friendship but in a different perspective. Ebenezer Scrooge is a bitter man who lost his business partner of seven years. His name was Marley. Once Marley dies, his ghost comes back and speaks to Scrooge. What Marley says is interesting and really shows how much both of them are committed to the friendship even though one of them isn’t there.
TS: In the play “A Christmas Carol” by Charles Dickens, there is a quote that stood out to me. SD: When Marley the ghost says, “ I wear the chain I forged in life” I think he might be talking about his working experience with Scrooge and his life in general. CM: Scrooge is a bitter man, who likes to be left alone. CM: So for Marley, working with Scrooge for seven years may have been a scaring experience, but a learning one at the same time. SD: Also, when Marley says that he “made it link by link and yard by yard” that means that the chain as a whole represents his life. CM: The chain represents how he has made it though the toughest of times and the happiest of times. CM: And through it all he did have Scrooge there as a friend even though it might not have felt like it. CS: Overall, Marley lived a very fulfilling life and was very lucky to have Scrooge as a friend and business partner because he’s one of those people who you don’t think care’s very much, when really he care’s the most (chiasmus).
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
CP: Scrooge and Marley got along well together and the chain can signify many things. The chain definitely connects the things that have happened in Marley’s life together and Scrooge realized that which is a really cool thing. Scrooge in a way realized how much he missed Marley once he saw his ghost and one link of the chain can represent their friendship as well.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Eleanor's Essay #7
Eleanor Hilton
9 English
Mr. Salsich
November 20th 2008
Words
Some thoughts about Stump Olsen’s discussion with us
Wouldn’t it be horrible if everyday twenty-four seven you were being beaten up, made fun of, and hurt emotionally just because you were just being yourself? Stump Olsen had a tough childhood just like this, and on November 17th she came to talk to us about issues such as these, focusing on the bullying of gay, trans and lesbian people of our world.
TS. My first initial reaction to Stump Olsen talk with us was shock. SD. This was first of all because of her rough and difficult childhood. CM. I find it so horrible that someone could be beaten up anywhere and anytime just because they were gay. CM. When Ms. Olsen said, “By my sophomore year of high school I was being jumped at least twice a week” I was completely flabbergasted. CM. In today's sophisticated world, you would think that everyone wouldn’t care who you were and how you were. SD. Another thing I found shocking was about her family. CM. Her hands shaking, but her back remaining straight, she told us that when she came out her parents told her that they wanted nothing to do with her. (absolute) CM. They haven’t sent her a birthday card, and she says that she doubts there will be any for the rest of her life from them or the rest of her family. SD. Although her talk probably sounds quite sad from what I’m mentioning but it was also quite inspiring. CM. She was a very pleasant person to have a conversation with, and our whole class was laughing about the jokes and other stories she told. CM. She also talked about her cause, Youth Pride, at her work in Providence where she and some others are providing shelter, food and a fun, safe afternoon to those who are bullied themselves. CS. Perhaps someday, we can get rid of this unnecessary hatred to people who are just being who they naturally are.
TS. In the world of today comments like “that’s so gay”, and “dyke” are heard everywhere. SD. Unfortunately, most of the time words and phrases such as these are used out of context. CM. So somebody perhaps would have lost a game of soccer, and a team member would shout “that’s so gay” for no reason, or out of habit. CM. Not only is that hurtful, but saying it around someone who is gay or a lesbian, is just plain cruel. SD. However, to me it’s not a surprise. CM. Throughout the history of our world there have been discriminations, hurtful words tossed around, many fights, and just plain meanness. CM. In World War II it was the Jews who were hurt and put in camps; in the 60’s it was the African Americans who were rejected by society. SD. Now it’s the lesbian gay and trans people that are being hurt, and it needs to stop. CM. Stump Olsen’s organization Youth Pride helps people who need it, and their friends who just don’t know what to do in complicated school situations. CM. Many children and students go on a regular basis for safety, emotionally and physically. CS. Starting with us, heterosexism, the unkindness to gay, lesbian and trans people, needs to stop. (participle)
Ms. Olsen really opened my eyes to what’s out there in the world today. Discrimination, and hurtful words are some of the things, but what annoys me the most is that what most people say is out of context. Recently it’s been the ‘thing’ to say, and quite frankly I’m sure that most people who say “That’s so Gay” don’t even know what they are talking about. Hopefully people like Stump Olsen will continue teaching to people how strong these words really are, so that eventually everyone can at least try to live without saying hurtful words, even if they don’t mean them.
*************************************************
Writing issues I am continuing to work on:
I am working on improving my punctuation when writing essay's. Also I am making sure my requirements are apt.
Some strong points I see in this piece of writing:
A strong point that I see is that I have some quotes. This supports and enhances the writing.
Some weak points I see:
Generally this essay isn't my best. I didn't manage to find a spot for an absolute because the way I write is very factorial, not descriptive. Which means that there is nothing to have an absolute on.
The grade I would give myself:
Probably a B or a B- because I didn't manage to complete a requirement
9 English
Mr. Salsich
November 20th 2008
Words
Some thoughts about Stump Olsen’s discussion with us
Wouldn’t it be horrible if everyday twenty-four seven you were being beaten up, made fun of, and hurt emotionally just because you were just being yourself? Stump Olsen had a tough childhood just like this, and on November 17th she came to talk to us about issues such as these, focusing on the bullying of gay, trans and lesbian people of our world.
TS. My first initial reaction to Stump Olsen talk with us was shock. SD. This was first of all because of her rough and difficult childhood. CM. I find it so horrible that someone could be beaten up anywhere and anytime just because they were gay. CM. When Ms. Olsen said, “By my sophomore year of high school I was being jumped at least twice a week” I was completely flabbergasted. CM. In today's sophisticated world, you would think that everyone wouldn’t care who you were and how you were. SD. Another thing I found shocking was about her family. CM. Her hands shaking, but her back remaining straight, she told us that when she came out her parents told her that they wanted nothing to do with her. (absolute) CM. They haven’t sent her a birthday card, and she says that she doubts there will be any for the rest of her life from them or the rest of her family. SD. Although her talk probably sounds quite sad from what I’m mentioning but it was also quite inspiring. CM. She was a very pleasant person to have a conversation with, and our whole class was laughing about the jokes and other stories she told. CM. She also talked about her cause, Youth Pride, at her work in Providence where she and some others are providing shelter, food and a fun, safe afternoon to those who are bullied themselves. CS. Perhaps someday, we can get rid of this unnecessary hatred to people who are just being who they naturally are.
TS. In the world of today comments like “that’s so gay”, and “dyke” are heard everywhere. SD. Unfortunately, most of the time words and phrases such as these are used out of context. CM. So somebody perhaps would have lost a game of soccer, and a team member would shout “that’s so gay” for no reason, or out of habit. CM. Not only is that hurtful, but saying it around someone who is gay or a lesbian, is just plain cruel. SD. However, to me it’s not a surprise. CM. Throughout the history of our world there have been discriminations, hurtful words tossed around, many fights, and just plain meanness. CM. In World War II it was the Jews who were hurt and put in camps; in the 60’s it was the African Americans who were rejected by society. SD. Now it’s the lesbian gay and trans people that are being hurt, and it needs to stop. CM. Stump Olsen’s organization Youth Pride helps people who need it, and their friends who just don’t know what to do in complicated school situations. CM. Many children and students go on a regular basis for safety, emotionally and physically. CS. Starting with us, heterosexism, the unkindness to gay, lesbian and trans people, needs to stop. (participle)
Ms. Olsen really opened my eyes to what’s out there in the world today. Discrimination, and hurtful words are some of the things, but what annoys me the most is that what most people say is out of context. Recently it’s been the ‘thing’ to say, and quite frankly I’m sure that most people who say “That’s so Gay” don’t even know what they are talking about. Hopefully people like Stump Olsen will continue teaching to people how strong these words really are, so that eventually everyone can at least try to live without saying hurtful words, even if they don’t mean them.
*************************************************
Writing issues I am continuing to work on:
I am working on improving my punctuation when writing essay's. Also I am making sure my requirements are apt.
Some strong points I see in this piece of writing:
A strong point that I see is that I have some quotes. This supports and enhances the writing.
Some weak points I see:
Generally this essay isn't my best. I didn't manage to find a spot for an absolute because the way I write is very factorial, not descriptive. Which means that there is nothing to have an absolute on.
The grade I would give myself:
Probably a B or a B- because I didn't manage to complete a requirement
Monday, November 17, 2008
Hannah Staley
Mr. Salsich
English 9
20 November 2008
Reactions and Discussion
An essay on a talk with Ms. Stump Olsen and what I think Heterosexism is
OP: In today’s world, discrimination against gay people is a big debate. Some people take the situation lightly and then there are people like Ms. Stump Olsen who take it quite seriously. Also, there are some people who just discriminate for the heck of it and don’t fully understand what heterosexism is and it is wrong. In this essay you will read about my reaction to a talk our ninth grade class had with Ms. Olsen and also about what heterosexism means to me.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
TS:Imagine what it would be like wondering if people are going to hate you? Questioning if they are ever going to treat you like everyone else? Well those questions are ones Ms. Stump Olsen had to face when questioning her sexuality. SD: Ms. Olsen is a remarkable person full of interesting stories that came in to talk to the 9th grade class. CM: One of her sad stories that she shared with us was that she got jumped at least twice a week at the high school attended. CM: This story simply shocked me and really put things into perspective and made me realize that there are some cruel people out there that don’t understand how “hurtful” they can be SD: Something else that saddened me during her talk was how she mentioned the lack of teachers support. Here at Pine Point, the teachers aren’t just here to teach you, but to also be your friend. CM: Ms. Olsen stated that “not one teacher stood up for me.” CM: This statement is extremely hurtful since I am in such a loving community and have never been exposed to a situation like this. CS: But, all I know is that Ms. Olsen’s story has inspired me to help other people if they need it and to not judge people just because they are different.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
TS: My take on heterosexism is that everyone should be able to express themselves without thinking twice. SD: I believe that no one should be judged on how they look or who they like. CM: If everyone liked the same thing and looked the same, the world would be plain and boring. CM: Also, without people expressing themselves and being proud of whom they are, there are no support systems to help them when there are difficult times. SD: Also, heterosexism means to me that it’s ok to show your emotions and get angry sometimes. CM: Crying for help and crying for love, (absolute) Ms. Olsen finally got out what she needed to say. CM: As you can see feelings are such big parts of being a person and then on top of it having people not like you for something stupid, is really a shame and is one side of heterosexism. CS: Whether you are gay or straight, one thing will never change and that is your personality and emotions. If something is bothering you, pestering you and really irking you to the extreme, (participle) don’t be afraid to let it out and tell the world what you need to say.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
CP: As you can see the hate some people have against gay people is horrible and most of the times these people don’t understand the effect they are having on this person’s life. I think it’s great that Ms. Olsen is going around educating students about this matter because it is one that is affecting many lives today. Also, by having this discussion I think that many of us are slowly starting to have a new perspective on the word heterosexism and what exactly it means.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Self Assesment:
Name: Hannah Staley
Date: November 20, 2008
Assignment name: Reactions and discussion
Some strong points I see in my writing is the opening paragraph. I think it captures the readers attention and summarizes what I am about to talk about quite well.
Some weak points I see in my writing is my absolute. I think that maybe I could have found a better place to put it. Plus, I was still a little confussed.
Some things in my writing I am continuing to work on in the use of unnecissary words. I started falling out of that habit and now I am noticing myself doing it again. So that is something I need to keep on my radar screen.
Mr. Salsich
English 9
20 November 2008
Reactions and Discussion
An essay on a talk with Ms. Stump Olsen and what I think Heterosexism is
OP: In today’s world, discrimination against gay people is a big debate. Some people take the situation lightly and then there are people like Ms. Stump Olsen who take it quite seriously. Also, there are some people who just discriminate for the heck of it and don’t fully understand what heterosexism is and it is wrong. In this essay you will read about my reaction to a talk our ninth grade class had with Ms. Olsen and also about what heterosexism means to me.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
TS:Imagine what it would be like wondering if people are going to hate you? Questioning if they are ever going to treat you like everyone else? Well those questions are ones Ms. Stump Olsen had to face when questioning her sexuality. SD: Ms. Olsen is a remarkable person full of interesting stories that came in to talk to the 9th grade class. CM: One of her sad stories that she shared with us was that she got jumped at least twice a week at the high school attended. CM: This story simply shocked me and really put things into perspective and made me realize that there are some cruel people out there that don’t understand how “hurtful” they can be SD: Something else that saddened me during her talk was how she mentioned the lack of teachers support. Here at Pine Point, the teachers aren’t just here to teach you, but to also be your friend. CM: Ms. Olsen stated that “not one teacher stood up for me.” CM: This statement is extremely hurtful since I am in such a loving community and have never been exposed to a situation like this. CS: But, all I know is that Ms. Olsen’s story has inspired me to help other people if they need it and to not judge people just because they are different.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
TS: My take on heterosexism is that everyone should be able to express themselves without thinking twice. SD: I believe that no one should be judged on how they look or who they like. CM: If everyone liked the same thing and looked the same, the world would be plain and boring. CM: Also, without people expressing themselves and being proud of whom they are, there are no support systems to help them when there are difficult times. SD: Also, heterosexism means to me that it’s ok to show your emotions and get angry sometimes. CM: Crying for help and crying for love, (absolute) Ms. Olsen finally got out what she needed to say. CM: As you can see feelings are such big parts of being a person and then on top of it having people not like you for something stupid, is really a shame and is one side of heterosexism. CS: Whether you are gay or straight, one thing will never change and that is your personality and emotions. If something is bothering you, pestering you and really irking you to the extreme, (participle) don’t be afraid to let it out and tell the world what you need to say.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
CP: As you can see the hate some people have against gay people is horrible and most of the times these people don’t understand the effect they are having on this person’s life. I think it’s great that Ms. Olsen is going around educating students about this matter because it is one that is affecting many lives today. Also, by having this discussion I think that many of us are slowly starting to have a new perspective on the word heterosexism and what exactly it means.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Self Assesment:
Name: Hannah Staley
Date: November 20, 2008
Assignment name: Reactions and discussion
Some strong points I see in my writing is the opening paragraph. I think it captures the readers attention and summarizes what I am about to talk about quite well.
Some weak points I see in my writing is my absolute. I think that maybe I could have found a better place to put it. Plus, I was still a little confussed.
Some things in my writing I am continuing to work on in the use of unnecissary words. I started falling out of that habit and now I am noticing myself doing it again. So that is something I need to keep on my radar screen.
Olivia's Essay
Olivia Denison
Mr. Salsich
English 9
21 November 2008
Words, Hatred and Courage
Your impact on people
When you say something just to joke around, do you ever think about how some people might take it seriously? Have you ever seen someone hurt another person physically just because of who they are? What would you do to stop this? Would you have enough courage to stand up to that person and say stop? This happened to Stump Olsen, who is gay. While she was growing up, no one was there to say stop to those people who verbally, mentally and physically abused her because of her sexual orientation.
TS Stump Olsen recently came in to talk about her experience as a lesbian in high school; her experience was like no one else’s. SD When she told us that she got beaten up and called names, my first reaction was how could someone do that? However, I quickly realized that most people do not accept those who are different. CM Olsen said instead of focusing (participle) on schoolwork, she had to focus on how to get from class to class without getting attacked. At least twice a week she would get jumped, and no one said anything about it, not even the teachers. CM Every time she was attacked, she would secretly hope that the “gay” would get beaten out of her so that the next day she would not be gay anymore. I thought it was really sad that she felt that she had to conform. SD I was deeply moved when she mentioned her family. Olsen’s parents have not spoken to her or had any contact with her since she “came out” to them fifteen years ago while in college. Olsen still looks in her mailbox for a birthday card from her parents or siblings, even though she knows she will not get one. CM Also, Olsen has not spoken to her older sister and younger brother during the past fifteen years. I cannot even imagine what it would be like to have no contact whatsoever with your family for that long just because you are different. CS There are people who would wish to do harm to those whom they view as being diferent. It seems as though no one ever steps in and says, “Stop!”
TS Discrimination comes in numerous forms; you could not like someone else’s religion, how a person looks, or their sexual orientation. SD The discrimination that Ms. Olsen faced was against gays and how some people act toward them. CM People can view things differently and people can treat others differently. CM Some people just cannot tolerate a person being different so they have to hurt them, which is not right (absolute). SD Ms. Olsen was discriminated against and even though people and teachers were aware of it, no one ever did anything. CM If she had a better relationship with her parents, she could have told them what was happening. Instead, she kept it to herself without anybody to support and protect her. CM It is unfair to pick on someone and especially wrong to hurt them physically just because they are different than you. CS It is terrible for someone to have to experience what Ms. Olsen did and it is hard to imagine that it actually happened.
Some people cannot accept that some differences in other people are not by their own choice and cannot be changed. Tolerance of these differences must be learned. People can think these differences are strange, but they should not express how they feel toward that person, no matter how much they want or feel the need to. No one should ever hurt anyone in any way just because they are different.
Self Assessment
Writing Issues I’m continuing working on.
The big things for me are punctuation and smoothness. I’ve been trying to work my transitions with using words like however or for example instead of just repeating myself. I’ve always have had trouble with punctuation, especially with commas which makes me write run on sentences which I have trouble identifying. So I’m working on identifying punctuation and run on sentences.
Some strong points I see.
I feel like I made some good points in my essay, especially in my first body paragraph. I also feel like I checked it over really well for mistakes, even though I probably missed some.
Some weak points I see.
I feel like that my second body paragraph is a little short but I think I have good points but I could have elaborated on them. I also don’t think my conclusion is that strong, but I could be wrong.
Grade I would give myself.
86
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