Eleanor's Essay #9 (sorry it's late some of it deleted and I had to rewrite)

Eleanor Hilton
Mr. Salsich
English 9
December 15th 2008

Regrets
My Thoughts about some Parts of My Life I Wish I could Change

Whether it’s to do with sports, home life or even your friends, everyone does something they regret later. In ‘The Christmas Carol”, a timeless, beautiful story written over one hundred years ago, by Charles Dickens we learn that Scrooge, the main character of the story, is mean and unbelievably bitter. However, we then learn that Scrooge regrets his ways and overcomes them later in the story. I too have had some regrets.

T.S In the summer coming up to my eighth grade year at Pine Point, I went away to a camp for three weeks. S.D The camp was called Explo which has been shortened from the official term ‘Exploration’. C.M At this camp I created some amazing memories which I still remember, and cherish. C.M Infact, I’m still corresponding with most of the people I was there with. S.D Unfortunately there was a regret that came from this stupendous experience. C.M At Explo, I was only friends with the people in my hall, the four or five rooms that were part of a group, with two helpful and friendly advisors. C.M I wish that I could have become friends with maybe even a few more of the two hundred other people there, instead of hiding away like Scrooge and only sharing a laugh with my hall-mates. C.S Even though this one regret hangs over me, I cannot forget the fun times I have shared with my many other friends.

T.S Even though I regret not talking to as many people, I do believe that some good has come from it. S.D To begin with, I am now more courageous and willing to go up to someone new and say, ‘Hi I’m Eleanor. What’s your name?’. C.M Now, when I go to my new school next year, I will be willing to meet new people. S.D Also, I have learned the importance of having more friends. C.M The more people you know, the more content you will be. C.M Yes I did have a fun at Explo, and was happy there. C.M However, sometimes my hall-mates were off doing one thing and I was somewhere else. C.S If I had talked more, I would already know some of the other people and wouldn’t have to take the time to break the ice, and make new friends.

Before, I ignored the other people, so then the other people ignored me. Now, I know better. I know that any person is worth talking to and making friends with, it doesn’t matter whether they are in your hall or not. It doesn’t even matter if they live half way across the globe, if all the countries and people kept to themselves our planet would be a disaster.

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G.O
Intro: Like Scrooge I have some regrets

1st Body:
1st chunk, last summer I went to a camp called Explo, here I made some great friend and have many memories
2nd chunk, However I regret that I didn't make many other friends outside our dorm

2nd Body:
1st chunk, However, I am now more courageous and willing to talk andm eet new faces.
2nd chunk, In activities it would have been helpful to already know people instead of trying to break the ice in the midst of a talk or something.

Conclusion: Everyone is worth talking to and making friends with.

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SA
Question 1: I especially like my first FAST word. Also, I like how I have written my introductory paragraph, I think it flows nicely.

Queston 2: The hardest part I believe was writing the chiasmus as I have not done one before. It was even more so difficult because I had to figure it out, instead of being taught by Mr. Salsich, who helps make writing much more enjoyable.