Olivia Denison
Mr. Salsich
April 29, 2009
English 9
What is Kindness? :
Finding Kindness in a Poem, a Story, and My Life
Kindness may be expressed in many different ways. There are little gestures like picking up something for someone, and then there are greater acts of kindness. For instance, another person can comfort them with advice and compassion (SAT) when someone is experiencing personal hardships. (LOOSE) This system of support is a main idea in the poem “Kindness”, the story “Winter Dreams” and my own life.
TS In the poem “Kindness”, the author Naomi Shihab Nye gets right to the point in the first line of the poem and declares, “before you know what kindness is/ you must lose things/.” SD We might experience acts of kindness everyday, but what she contends is that we really don’t know what “real” kindness is until something bad happens. CM We do not, everyday, experience the kindness when a loved one passes and a person comes to our side in support and offers advice. CM Sometimes we feel as though kindness is unattainable, and we’re stuck in the middle, “between the regions of kindness/.” (TETRA COLON) SD When we are feeling sad we may “feel the future dissolve in a moment/.” CM We feel as if our whole world has come crashing down, and no one cares. CM It is isolating, but when someone comes along and helps us out of our pit of sorrow, it can be very uplifting. CS Always remember, that there is probably someone there for us.
TS In the story “Winter Dreams”, by F. Scott Fitzgerald, the main character, Dexter, witnesses a different sort of kindness. (APPOSITIVE) SD Dexter’s life fluctuates like a graph, exhibiting losses and gains. CM During the story, he loses the girl of his dreams several times, ultimately losing her in the end forever. CM Dexter did not have a support system to help him through this painful journey. SD At the end of the story, Dexter is talking to a man who explains to him that he has lost the love of his life one final time. CM Kindness has taken the form of honesty, but its tough reality has taken a toll on Dexter. CM Although we have no idea what happened to Dexter, his past suggests that he will carry on, but in a lonely misery. CS Honesty is a form of kindness, and although it might be harsh, its lessons can be life-changing.
TS Just like in the story “Winter Dreams”, by F. Scott Fitzgerald and the poem “Kindness”, by Naomi Shihab Nye, I have experienced kindness in times of need. SD The most memorable time that I have felt kindness was when my grandmother died. CM Friends were offering to treat my sister and I to dinner or the movies. CM The grandest act of kindness I witnessed was toward my mother. SD She received an adulation (SAT) of cards and flowers and a lot of people even prepared food. CM One person in particular offered advice on how to carry on, and had empathy (SAT), because she had lost a loved one as well. CM I found this very comforting when I saw how much this woman cared about my mother to actually support her in this way.(LOOSE) CS Every time I am upset about something, one of my friends is there to help me through it, even if it’s something insignificant.
Have faith that when you feel that you’ve lost so much, that someone in your life will support you. It can be devastating when something bad happens, but always realize that something good can come from something bad.
Self Assessment
Writing Issues I’m continuing working on.
Using tools apptly is one thing that I have trouble with especially appositvies. Also actualyl writing not the way that i talk.
Some strong points I see.
I definitely did a good job checking over my work. The SAT words that I used I think fit well with the sentence I used them in.
Some weak points I see.
I don't think I used the "/" right. Then again maybe I did. Also my tools might be a little off.
Grade I would give myself.
c+
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
Olivia!
NICE job on your essay. For some reason I like your opening paragraph a lot, I don't quite know why but it's good. However, I don't quite get what you mean when you use 'contends' in the second sentence of your first body. Also in your first body paragraphs you have two quotes where just before you end them you put a '/'. I'm pretty sure you only need to put those in if you are actually going to have the next line as part of quote, and as you only have the one line, you don't need it. Apart from those little things, you have one SUPER essay
~Eleanor
Olivia,
Nice job in your essay. I particularly like the FAST word "myriad." It definitly enhances your writing. My first suggestion would be to look at the 1st sentence in your opening paragraph. It didn't really grab my attention and all you need to do is reword it. My last suggestion is when you say, “Dexter’s life fluctuates like a graph, exhibiting losses and gains.” I don’t think you need the part after the comma. You can keep it if you want but I don’t think it helps your writing that much. Other than those two things you have one good high school essay!
- Hannah Staley
Olivia,
Cool. I like the conclusion to the second body paragraph. The sentence before it actually sounds like a conclusion, but you justify what happens to Dexter and leave no doubt that it was actually kindness. Completely bulletproof. In your loose sentence though you don't need a comma at the end because it's a concluding dependent clause. Then the concluding paragraph sounds a little like a sermon, you might want to pull an example from in the essay to lighten it up.
Zack
Post a Comment