Eleanor Hilton
English 9
Mr. Salsich
February 23rd 2009
Transformations:
An Essay on How Music can Affect us All
Every morning when the sun rises, our sky is transformed from a dark starry picture, to a bright blue sky full of brilliant white clouds. (Three consecutive parallel prepositional phrases) Like our world, Caliban and I also transform, but when listening to music.
Caliban, a character in “The Tempest” by William Shakespeare, has one of the strangest and most unusual personalities. For the first sixty-four pages of the play so far our class had learnt that Caliban was always in a bad mood. He would stomp around shouting and making faces at everything. He would curse Prospero, Miranda, and Ariel to no end, and even tried to rape Miranda for revenge. However on page sixty-five we recently discovered that Caliban can change. When talking about the music that “hum[s] about [his] ears”, his face is full of “delight” and joy. He transforms. (Short sentence among long ones) He loves the music so much, that he would see “clouds” and “riches”, and when his dream ended he would cry for them to come back. (Compound-complex sentence) This altogether adds an interesting twist to the story. The one character that we thought flat has become as round as the others. If Caliban transforms with music, what transforms the other characters in “The Tempest”?
For me, I am transformed when listening to music. When I am angry, a song with a good relaxing beat calms me down. When I am sad, listening to a sad song can help me get over the pain. Even when I am happy, playing something I like can make me feel even better. Life for me right now can sometimes get frustrating, and it often feels as if the world has turned upside down. The music not only helps me transform away from a person that isn’t me, but also helps control the clutter stacked around the room that is my life. In William Wordsworth’s well-known “Tintern Abbey” he says, “I have felt a presence that disturbs me with joy”. Although in the poem he probably means that the “presence” is Mother Nature, the same quote also applies to me, but with music. The “presence”, that lies discreetly around me, that “disturbs me with joy”, is the music that I hear when I need comforting or when I am just in the mood to listen. (Appositive) Without music I would be in a wreck of problems and ready to crack. Thankfully there is music, and when times get tough, I know I can sit down and listen to a favourite song.
Even though there are probably many reasons for a transformation, I feel that one of the most prominent would be the transformation with music. Caliban, and I are just two that feel the benefits of music, but I know there are thousands.
Graphic Organiser:
Intro:transformations
1st Body:
SD: Caliban as his bad-tempered self
CM's: we believed that he was always going to be mean
SD: He changes with music
CM's:(small quotes) his transformation from mean to nice
SD's: no longer a flat character
CM's: How will this affect the rest of the play?
2nd Body:
SD: What music helps with
CM's: anger, sadness, even when happy it transforms to an even happier person
SD: Complicated life
CM's: can fix the clutter
SD: Tintern Abbey connection
CM's: the "presence" is music to me, "disturbs" me into a better self
Conclusion: the many transitions
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2 comments:
I love love love the metephor you use in your opening paragraph, it's catchy and apt! Yopu said this in class, but don't forget to put in the requirements. I already see a few requirements!=] It seems as though you did a good job checking this over, but i did notice a few typos.
Elëänor,
I really like the Wordsworth quote. That stage of the essay is where my mind starts to wonder but the quote brought me back, that is good writing. I don't know though if the way you refer to "we" in the first paragraph nescessarily works. In the intro you lump yourself in with Caliban so that transition is a little confusing. It's also not as poetic sounding as simply saying what happens like in the second paragraph. Its your call.
Zack ☺☻☺☻
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