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Created by Hannah, Zack, Eleanor, and Olivia
Essay Labels!
- Eleanor (20)
- Hannah Staley (32)
- Olivia (24)
- The Tempest (2)
- Zack (21)
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3 comments:
Zack,
GREAT job on your essay. You have a very interesting title, and if it was posted up on a board, it would probably be quite appealing to read. Also your use of quotes was very good, especially how you usd a dash to show when a line ended. However, I did notice a few mistakes or things you could polish. In the first body paragraph I saw quite a few unneccessary words, especially in the middle sentances when talking about Caliaban, so if you just take a look around there you amy fid something you want to polish up. Apart from that you've done a FINE job.
~Eleanor~
Zack,
The opening paragraph has to be one of the best i have ever read:it flows nicely and is very "dignified". In the first paragraph though I noticed you started a sentence with because. I'm being quite hypocritical, because i sometimes start sentence's with because or but. I think that we should both work on that. In the second paragraph, I noticed that some words might have been miss-spelled. I don't know if this was intentional, but just a hint to maybe look it over.
Zack,
You have done an amazing job on this tough assignment. I really like your opening paragraph. It does exactly what it's suppossed to do and really cathes the readers attention. One thing though I noticed was in the opening paragraph the second sentence is a bit confussing. While the rest is written quite nicely, this was a bit choppy. Also, the 3rd sentence of the 1st body paragraph doesn't exactly flow right to me. Other than that you wrote this essay like a true english scholar!
- Hannah
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